May 2, 2012

• {shadows}
  
  I’m writing this from the corner of my mom’s brown sofa in their family room.
  The windows are open and I can hear the distant rumble of thunder.
  The cars going by let me know the roads are still wet from the earlier rain.
  I’m so glad I can make it here in one day.
  even if it is a long day!

  This trip down is just Emma and I. {i think i must have answered a gazillion and one, “are we there yet’s”}
  It was a bit of a last minute thing – as it seems most of our trips down are.
  A friend of mine is getting married this weekend in Pennsylvania.
  my parents are driving over and Emma and I thought we’d swing down this way, and ride with them!
  Slightly out of the way, yes. but sometimes a little drive out of the way is worth it!

  I knew I couldn’t make the trip alone with both the little girls..
  but with Shayne working, I wasn’t sure who would watch baby girl.
  I really hate asking anyone to watch my kids…
  I seriously almost stayed home because it felt that hard to ask.
  not because of who I was asking. it’s just totally my thing I get tripped up on. asking for help!

  But with each call I made to my girlfriends, I felt myself relaxing more at not only their reassurance..
  but their quickness to say, “sure.. we’d love to!”

  What’s that about it taking a village? {I love my village}

  
  
  so this morning on our way out, I dropped her off at Jenn’s.
  tomorrow it’s Steph. Thursday, Cathy. and Friday, Deb.
  {I hear Jenn fed her prunes. early apologies to the rest of you girls!!}  

  When I was first becoming friends with some of these women I would hesitate to accept their invitations to coffee, or lunch..
  “I have the baby!”
  thinking that when they got together, all their kids older and in school, I was sure they wanted quiet mommy time.
  not someone there with a squalling baby.
  But their gracious welcome to not only me.. but baby too..
  has once again shown me the importance of women helping women.
  rallying around at all seasons of life and supporting and encouraging one another.
  So often when I walk in, there’s two or three hands grabbing for her.
  they hold her. feed her. entertain her. so I’m the one who ends up with that “quiet mommy time.”

  it touches my heart in such a tender way when I see people loving on my kids.
  and since they’ve loved on Reese way before now, I know she’ll be as comfortable as anything with each!
  she’ll just think she’s out for coffee with the girls every day this week !!

  When I dropped her off at Jenn’s this morning I was trying to sneak out. I was afraid she’d cry.  
  but. not a drop! now mama on the other hand. not real tears. but all gulpy to leave her.~
  we’re pretty tight her and I.
  She’s my little shadow {constantly} and I feel something missing not having her close.
  
  I was telling her again yesterday, while cutting her hotdog into little pieces, the story of when she was in my belly..
  “and the doctors told me you were dead. but you weren’t.
  you were right there! Jesus put you there. and kept you there… and now you’re our reese!”
  
  and she always listens the same way.. head cocked to the side as if really interested.
  then. at the end she’ll lift my shirt to look at my belly, since she heard the word belly in there.
  I’m not sure she understands a thing of what I’m saying – except the belly part.
  and at the end. when I’m done with my “reese story” she’ll draw her shoulders up. put her hand over her mouth..
  and let out this shy little laugh of sorts like she does.
   
  I think that story makes her happy!

  
  
  I know I’ve talked of it lots on here since it happened. since she was born.
  I probably sound like a broken record. but it’s one I like playing over!
  I think everything I write here is pretty much a broken record.
  it seems my life is a continual process of learning the same lessons over and over.
  
  but whenever I doubt His faithfulness I see that golden blonde head and I nod inside at the reminder of that lesson.
  I feel that reminder in all my kids. but with her it was so loud. so clear to me –
  God is still on His throne. and He cares. He knows.
  
  That’s something I can’t get out of my head these past weeks.. since Easter actually.
  the celebration of a RISEN Saviour needs to take place in our hearts every day.
  it’s not just for a once a year Sunday when we dress up in fancy clothes and clap and praise and get all excited…
  it’s for a life of praise that no matter where we are. or what we happen to look like. our hearts can worship.
  we have hope!
  because our God is Alive!!
  
  A friend of mine recently found out she has cancer. yesterday she had surgery.
  I went on her facebook wall to just jot a little, thinking of you.
  but as I began typing these words flooded to mind – - 
  
  “Because He lives. I can face tomorrow.
  Because He lives. all fear is gone…
  
  and that. says it so perfectly!

  I don’t know where you are today.what you’re facing.
  cancer. surgery. an empty womb. empty bank account. loneliness. hurt. rejection.
  
  but I know where He is!
  and because of that we can make it through.

  
  {my favorite song right now}

  **
  
  
  the other night after dinner, shayne and I sat at the table talking while Reese was playing nearby.
  I suddenly noticed her shadow on the corner of the cabinet and picked my camera up that wasn’t far away…

  
  
  
  Shayne pointed it out to her and it was so funny as she stood there watching it.
  then. peeking around the corner at it.. like she was playing peekaboo.

  did I say I miss that girl!

  
  
  
  
  
  **
  
  we had alot of fun as a family reading through your captions for our spider turned wide mouth frog creation in the last post.~
  I literally think I chuckled at every single one.
  I went through after dinner, and read them out loud to the family.
  problem was – no one could agree on just one!
   
  Ben liked the one about the spider’s eyes being blood shot.
  Kate liked the one about it’s eyes being too far apart.
  I liked the one about it being a no brainer. {homeschool project for sure!}
  and Shayne liked the lady with the spray can {that’s so me!}  
  
  in the end. I let Emma make the final choice. since, after all, it was her spider!
  she picked this one~

  
  
  and said she liked it because it had her name in it!!

  congrats Becky. message me your address and I’ll get the gift card of your choice in the mail to ya!
  
  **

  time to head to bed.
  I don’t think my bum can take sitting one.more.second.

  
  
  
  ´¸.·¨) ¸.·¨)
  (¸.·´ (¸.·´ (¸.·¨¯`♥ amber

  • 12:26 am
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