April 25, 2012

• {ShOp tHe hOusE}
  party style
  fourth.edition

  
  {or alternative title choice – the party you won’t be pinning} ha.
  
  When I asked Shayne last week what he wanted for his birthday, he said..
  “for you not to spend any money!”
  
  now you have to understand two things to know why this is hard for me…
  
  one. birthdays were always celebrated big time in my family.
  after all, it’s the day you entered this world, and that’s pretty monumental!
  and second. gift giving happens to be my love language.
  {and i should add a third.. that i just happen to like spending money}
  
  So how would he know I loved him on his birthday if I couldn’t BUY anything??
  and how could we celebrate big time without spending a dime??
  
  on Saturday, I was at the bike shop with Ben, waiting while he got his tire fixed on his bmx.
  A new mountain bike was something Shayne had been talking about recently.
  As I walked around looking at them, I began conjuring up a plan in my head…
  
  And I could just picture the look on his face.
  well, yes. shock at first {man! but those things are expensive}
  but once he got over that I was sure he would forgive me and the shocked expression would turn to glee!
  
  But as I stood there spinning the wheel of that sleek, beautiful black bike hanging overhead on the rack..
  {i know nothing about bikes, so i judge purely on looks!} 
  I suddenly saw how that if I were to buy this for Shayne it wouldn’t really be for him!
  it would actually be more about me – me wanting to feel good that I had made his birthday special..
  and in the way I thought was special.
  some big elaborate gift.
  
  and driving home. bikeless. it struck me how often my “love” can be nothing more than a mask of my own selfishness.
  
  genuine love is loving from inside the other person’s shoes. which means being willing to step out of my own.
  
  I still wanted Shayne’s birthday to be special.
  and presents or not, we were going to have us a paRty!!
  
  so that night I set out shopping my house, since no party decor had been purchased-
  looking for things that could make the table festive and fun.
  
  There were some wooden blocks with numbers.
  but since they had every number on them but seven, I couldn’t do the year he was born!
  so. I did the next best year of his life – the year we got married.
  
  
  
  
  and then a old black and white of our honeymoon.
  some leftover tulle from the tulle puff thingy’s in the girls room.
  an oversized letter S.
  a few pillows put on the chairs, because pillows make everything look better.
  and just some other random pictures of all of us together.
  old family photos seem to always make for some funny conversation.
  something to the effect of –
  
  “oh, this was the year we near froze to death standing in the middle of that cornfield..
  with 70 mile per hour winds blasting in our face!”
  “this is when we nearly got eaten by that dog at the park… or was it a goose?”
  “and this is when my leggings were too small and were cutting off my circulation.”
  “ugg. this is when mom made me wear that ugly shirt i hated.”
  
  But, no doubt someday my kids will have a whole new appreciation for family pictures.
  and I have a feeling it’ll probably happen right about the time their first is old enough to say..

  “and HOW many more are we going to take? My cheeks hurt and I have to pee and my shoes are too tight..
  and.. and it’s gotta be atleast a thousand degrees out here!!”
  
  
  
  
  In the basement I found these old diet coke bottles on top of Emma’s toy kitchen set.
  I think she salvaged them from a garbage bin at some point or another.
  I thought they could add a fun touch to our party -
  
  it wasn’t until I had already filled them with punch did I think that maybe I should have washed them out!
  no telling what all she had had in those things.  {so far we’re still alive!}
  
  
  
  
  
  Since we couldn’t buy gifts, the kids and I tried to give something we already had, and lots of – our words!
  through pictures and cards and little notes written here and there.
  
  And when I found these old leftover goody bags from valentines day,
  I decided to do some little packages for the kids with a few things I had around..
  putting in a note about something special I remembered or thought of between them and their dad.
  
  
  
  
  
  there was lots of laughter and tears as we read through those!
  it was my favorite memory of the day.
   
  The cake I made. well.. I put the icing on before it was completely cooled.
  so it was a bit of a hot mess.
  {but we discovered ugly cakes still taste just as good as pretty ones!}
  
  
  
  
  And though there’s nothing super extraordinary here or even overly creative-
  anyone can run around their house gathering up stuff and put on a table!

  I share all this because I learned a valuable lesson in the process.
  {or rather was reminded really, because i forget so easily}

  it was really bothering me to not be able to buy things or have them look how I wanted for Shayne’s birthday.
  and it forced me to do a double take on why I do what I do.
  was it really about others? or me?

  are the things I do motivated from a heart of love, or finding value and worth for myself?
  is it about truly blessing, or seeking to impress?
  if no one were going to know about it outside my family, would I put in as much time and attention?
  if there weren’t things like blogs and pinterest and facebook… would that change what I “do” for others?
  some of the answers I heard back sobered me.
  
  Nothing wrong with buying gifts and making things fancy and pretty and nice..
  God created beauty and He wants us to enjoy it and share it.
  trust me. I will always love me a good martha stewart worthy party~

  but there are times we just have to take what we have. put it together best we can.
  and keep the main thing, the main thing.
  making what we do for others really about others!

  
  
  
  
  
  I’m pretty sure someone will know we love them just fine despite how in the world we fold the napkins…
  or if we even remembered to put any out at all!

  ****
  
  happy birthday babe.
  thanks for helping me learn more everyday, what true love is all about!
  
  

  other editions of ShOp tHe hOusE here. here. and here.

  • 10:22 am
  • 36 Comments