June 1, 2012
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{the one where i talk about my big fat ugly insecurities}
I wrote this weeks ago. and it’s just sat here.
Guess I felt insecure to post about my insecurities. ha!
And not that I’m all over that now..
I mean, do you ever really get over your insecurities?
or, only, grow a bit more comfortable with them as you age.
Maybe that’s it. not being quite so shocked at myself as I used to be.
As if, “who is this person and what have you done with the real me?”
No. I know the real me all too well. she often makes me cringe.
But that is part of the process of all this as well -
learning what simply needs to be accepted and then, what needs to change.
*****
written may.15th
So a few weeks back I got my hair chopped off.
and, have pretty much regretted it since!
I had been thinking of doing it for months.
dog ear-ing every magazine page with pictures I liked.
Noticing that everyone in the world seemed to have short hair!
Why does it work that way?
When my hair is long, everyone’s is short.
And when mine is short, it’s as if theirs all grew 11 inches overnight!
Suddenly, I’m the only one with cropped hair to my shoulders!
It took me so long just to do it…
this stupid struggle inside over it all.
do it. don’t. okay, I will. no, wait. think about it some more.
it was only hair, for crying out loud! it would grow.
Why couldn’t I just let it go?
the answer I felt echoing back was a shallow one. and I didn’t like hearing it.
If I’ve ever been complimented on anything in my life, it’s been my long hair.
I wish it were that my face looked like j.lo’s – but nope. just nice hair!
and I felt this nagging worry, “what if I cut my hair and I look UGLY!!”yes. I’ve had my hair cut short two other times, this now being the third.
but that was when I was younger. thinner.
I’ll talk about that insecurity in a minute…
right now we’re still on the whole, cut hair look ugly, one!!
besides, wasn’t long hair considered prettier. more feminine. even sexier??
To which, when I asked my husband if that were true, just rolled his eyes and said,
“Where do you get this stuff from? People magazine?”
how did he know!
But isn’t that just it?
There’s a whole perception thrust upon us in our society of what is considered attractive. acceptable.
Have hair that looks this way, and a body that looks like that, and THEN.. then you’re beautiful!
hey.. when a size 10 is considered a plus size, there is something seriously wrong with our culture!!
There’s a reason it’s the double zero’s that are always left on the sale rack –
NO ONE wears them! for the majority of normal women it’s just not reality.
I would need to buy two pair and sew them together, just to fit over ONE of my legs!!
haha. okay. now let’s talk about the fat insecurities..
which actually ended up being a deciding factor in getting my hair cut.
thinking maybe a few inches from my head, would somehow take it off my thighs!
I’m heavier now than I’ve ever been in my life, besides being pregnant.
and no. that is not your cue for skinny comments.
it doesn’t matter what others say. I know how I feel.
and I’ve never lived my life or the foods I choose to eat based on a number..
which is why I don’t own a scale. for me, it’s about feeling good.
feeling my clothes fit me. feeling healthy and strong.
I’m working on it. I started a diet last week that.. well, so far, isn’t going great.to my husband:: What do you mean the Graeter’s mocha ice cream that I brought all the way back from Cincinnati, packed in dry ice,
surviving an unforseen hotel night when I got sick, and snuck past the guards at the border, isn’t part of the diet plan!!
and to my girlfriend:: wanna run a 5k with me this fall. and, by the way.. how long exactly is a 5k?
hey. I’m the girl who can’t even run to her mailbox without getting a cramp in her side.
But, just as hair doesn’t grow over night. neither do muscles tone and weight drop off.
it takes time.
as does dealing with these big fat ugly insecurities.And I’m learning..
I may not be where I want to be right now.
I wish my hair were longer, my body thinner.
but. this is me NOW. who I am. TODAY.
in all my size 10, short haired glory.
and I’m going to love that. and embrace it.
it doesn’t mean it won’t change. as long as we are living, we are changing. always.
sizes fluctuate. up and down. skin glows. it sags. hair grows. and grays. we get stronger. we get weaker. we wrinkle. we age.
just when we tackle one insecurity, another crops up. it’s part of the journey. the process..
the process of finding HIM our ultimate security.
so when you go home discouraged that you’re not the same size as the mannequins in the store.
and shut your computer off each night with a sigh after perusing pinterest, because of all the perfection you see.
feeling that slump inside that you’ll never measure up~
remember where our true measurement of worth is found!
Whatever your body size and shape. pear, apple, banana, or blueberry!
the amount of lines on your face or the style of your hair..
YOU.ARE.BEAUTIFUL.
There’s no one like you in the world.
You are one of a kind. unique.
Hand crafted by the Creator of the Universe.
Made on purpose, for a purpose.
and when He looks at you, He’s pleased.
He thinks you are precious.
He felt you were worth dying for.
and He rose again to prove you were worth living for!
His hands fashioned you. ps. 119:73
Fashioned by God, ladies!!!
now THAT’S something to feel beautiful about.
´¸.·¨) ¸.·¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ (¸.·¨¯`♥ amber
Comments (52)
Funny how it’s these small things that make us feel sexy or down right ugly….. Recently had a similar experience, my hubby “trimmed” almost 2″ off my hair & I instantly felt less pretty, less sexy…it was ridiculous of me. The Lord made us who we are but we are always trying to become someone else….when all He wants is to make us into what He planned.
I like your shorter hair. It looks really nice on you.
Thank you for sharing, if more people shared their insecurities, we would be one up on all the different forms of media that try to tell us we need to look/be a certain way…..they wouldn’t have power over us!
Oh my goodness. The Lord knew I needed to come on here and read this from you today. My insecurities breathe down my neck at this particular time of the month. It’s always that way with me. So, Thank you.
I like your short hair. It makes you look younger. And I totally understand being heavier than ever. Since my last pregnancy my body has been different too. I have always had an amazing metabolism, but things are catching up to me. And I hear all the time that I look the same, but I’m with you. I know how I feel and I don’t like it. I just try to eat healthier… but I love running. So, have you decided you’re going to run?!?!?!?
this was so good Amber. i am guessing that ALL women can relate to this issue in some form or another.
being in the state of pregnancy that i’m in this time around i have had so many, many people comment to me at random about my appearance. not nice, complimenting words either. i would say that my self esteem tends to be below baseline in this shape to start with, but it has made me think long and hard about the words we say to each other about how we look. while i think our worth DOES need to be found and from Him, there is something about hearing words of affirmation from other people that can really be encouraging or devastating. and, i want to remember those things when i compliment someone else……in Whose image they are made, and are my words going to build them up or leave them wondering where i was coming from….
how much a person weighs? don’t get me started on that one. well…actually, i’m with you on the don’t use the scale thing. i have had many, many a day in my past where i was OBSESSIVE about my weight and i fear i could so get caught in that trap again, so, i refuse to use a scale. (Course at the dr. they make me step on….but even then i look away.)
it’s sad, so sad that our society is so image driven. the wrong image.
and, i’m not saying this to feed you a line Amber…i think you are a most beautiful person. from the inside out.
hugs and i pray His protection over you for sharing such a vulnerable topic.
♥
i love your hair… both short and long! and you are so pretty, always.
this was an awesome post, Amber!
happy weekend!
So good!! Thanks for having the courage to write this…I think we can all relate!! I know I have certainly struggled with my looks and not feeling like I am pretty. I know too, what you mean about even if others say you are thin but you know that your clothing doesn’t fit as well, you just don’t feel
Very good about yourself. It is lifelong process, I think. To figure it all out and learn to have a healthy
Balance between caring how you look but not getting too wrapped up in it!!
I love ya JUST the way you are. (but I DO wish I could see you a little more often!)
YOU HAVE GREAT HAIR!
long
short
in between, it’s beautiful!
The insecurities sound far too familiar.
and I’ve noticed as I grow older, they change.
Things that used to bother me, no longer do.
But then there are the aging issues that scream at me and I hate every one of them!!!
skin changing
shape changing
lines appearring.
And the weight thing has been something I’ve battled with for what seems like far too long.
then when I remember this will be the rest of my life…..
Amidst it all, I try to step back and see the beauty in the cycle of life.
{After awhile, my eye sight won’t even be good enough to do that. Tee hee!}
Thanks for sharing from your heart, Amber!
Great post and your hair looks thick, healthy and beautiful!
Wonderful truths that we all need to hear! So my scale steppin’ every morning might be an insecurity?;) I better go work on that.
AND…… there are insecurities when you are skinny too!
i agree the number doesn’t matter. when my stomach FEELS big, you can laugh and sputter, if it feels yuck, i don’t feel good about myself.
i like your hair short, of course any hair that is so pretty, shiny, sleek and not frizz and curls intrique me
. <3
I’m really glad you decided to post this Amber, I’m right were your are at right now. It was like you had been listening to my thoughts. It’s hard to get older. I wish I was more accepting and gracious about the way my body is changing but it’s been harder than I thought. I am learning, God is working on my heart, reminding me that my heart is wear real beauty comes from!
Love your hair Amber! You do have gorgeous hair short or long!
I think I could have written this. :/ I have never in my life felt so ugly. I too cut my hair off. Even shorter then yours and I HATE it. I miss thhe 10inches I cut off. But like you said. It’s only hair. Even though it did make my face LOOK thinner.
It will grow.
Thanks for the good reminders. God made me just the way I am.
i liked this post too Amber. good stuff for me right now. i don’t know why looks and weight are such a big deal when a person is pregnant but they just are to me, even tho there’s not really anything i can do about it. It’s really really hard to embrace and be ok w/ the # on the scale–so maybe I should just not check
Anyway. I will prly just struggle on until the end, but thanks anyway for the wise words. Btw, i like your hair, but you’ve also got really fabulous eyes. Just sayin’.
thank you amber. i’m sure a day doesn’t go by when i don’t scrutinize my body in one way or another. o the battle for a transformed mind! i so appreciate the reminder to set my eyes on Him and not so much on me
thank you!
dearest amber. NOTHING in the world could spoil your sweetness and beauty! it’s a nice change. and….the good thing about hair: it grows.
ENJOY <3
i DO adore your honesty! you.are.refreshing.
I’m with ya on the whole hair thing. I did the exact same thing…..debated with myself FOREVER about cutting it. When I did, I liked it for a day, then wanted my long hair back. I figured out that part of the problem was the style it had been cut in, and the sorta “inbetween” long and short. So I went shorter since longer would take too long. : ) I got so many compliments, everything from, “you look so pretty” to “you were hot before, but now you’re even hotter!” ….to which I rolled my eyes. But still, no matter others say, we know how we feel about ourselves…from hair to weight to acne. I am finding that the more I can just relax and not think so much about what others think, I am more comfortable in my own skin. And now while I am wishing my hair was longer and am growing it out again, your post was such a good reminder. So many times, I come across women in life who, by most people’s standards would not be considered beautiful. Yet, they are some of the most beautiful women in the world to me. Their love for God, their husbands, their love for everybody….it makes them shine with a beauty that can’t be found by any haircuts, color treatments, or the most perfect makeup. Not that I am a fan of the whole “the plainer you are the more godly of a woman you are thing”…OH NO! But you know what I’m sayin’.
And I know you were not asking for compliments, but really Amber….you are beautiful. Both inside and out. : )
long, short, curly or straight hair, Amber, you will always be beautiful!
We tend to be hard on ourselves, like you said. I do not have the best self body image and this has been a great reminder that there is MORE to us than our appearance. Thank you friend!
“but. this is me NOW. who I am. TODAY.
in all my size 10, short haired glory.
and I’m going to love that. and embrace it.”
THANK YOU! Important message to each of us to love who we are TODAY.
I’ve been contemplating a hair crop. I also spent the last two days at public events, watching the “it” and trying to figure out what what makes me different from them, what makes them put together and confident instead of feeling put together and confident until I catch a glimpse of my reflection somewhere.
@Kris0logy - amen! well said.
but i hope to build up and get stronger and most of all.. NOT QUIT! any recommendations w/ the running??
i think alot of women can have a hard time complimenting other women because of their own insecurities. and that’s exactly why i got rid of my scale years ago.. it was becoming an obsession for me! and my whole mood could be determined or changed by what that number said that day. :/ thank you, my sweet rachel friend.. for your encouragement. and for mentioning HIS protection over sharing something like this. yes. vulnerability is always scary!!! love you.
@peaceatthelake - thanks my friend.
@JsSteph7 - i’d really like to try a 5k. just something to give me a GOAL to work towards. right now i’m working on running to the end of the driveway.
@foreveranoatneygirl_n2Hisown - so true!! and SO GLAD you brought that up about sharing affirming words. i think we can get all caught up in not wanting to “flatter” or put attention on the outward when sometimes, yeah.. for crying out loud can’t we just look at each and say, “you look pretty today!!”
@mylittlepinkhouse - thanks sweet jenny. MISS YOU!
@appalolly - aw. my faithful friend audrey! that’s how i think of you. so constant and loyal. and i just always smile to see a comment from you! reading over your words carefully because they’re so good. so real. and just uplifting. thank you. xo
@hananielsgirl - i love you too. and YES yes.. wish i could see you more often. missing you~
@totallycherished - YES!! the beauty in the cycle of life – so true. there’s beauty at every stage and phase, eh. and i often think that some of the classiest women and most beautiful are those older women.. growing old gracefully and just embracing their season of life. i want to be that way! and i understand the battle w/ the weight.. but i think you look GREAT! truly. you’re such a beautiful woman.
for me. it had become something that was controlling my moods and attitudes. and i didn’t like that in myself.
i have another friend who has often told me the same thing. and even kate struggles with feelin she’s TOO thin. she says ppl at school are constantly teasing her/ asking her if she’s anorexic and she gets so tired of it. i wish i had that problem. ha! 
but yes.. i get that there are insecurities no matter what, right. i know it’s part of life and part of finding that Christ is the only thing that can ultimately give us that sense of worth and belonging and value. thanks for being honest. miss you kristy~ and YOU could probably give me some tips on running…?? 
i’m trying to look at it now as a fun process of enjoying each length as it grows out. thanks for being honest and not afraid of admitting your struggles. i love ppl like you! 
@joyfullivin - thank you!
@lwstutz - haha. i think everyone needs to do what they feel is best for THEM when it comes to scale steppin some ppl would rather know.. and feel that’s a good motivator for them. especially if it’s tippin in the right direction.
@willeywonderings - oh, i know the scale goes the other way too.
@inanorchard - thanks april girl~ so grateful to be journeying this life with friends like you! you encourage and inspire me along the way. love you
@ajoyfulnusiance - we should make a pact together to just purpose to love our hair regardless!!
@brokenmiracle - a transformed mind – YES! that’s it, isn’t it. the battle is in our minds to take each thought captive and bring into obedience to Christ and HIS truth and HIS thoughts and ways – - which are SO opposite our own. it seems so simple, but i often tell shayne that even while TRYING to think on truth my mind is off and rolling in all the lies and insecurties before i even realize. i think it’s just a life long lesson of learning again and again to run to Him.. and hopefully, a little faster each time!
@browningjb@twitter - aw, becky!! thank YOU!! this was brave of you as well to share what you did. and yes and AMEN that the remedy is taking our thoughts and laying them at the foot of the cross. several others have shared that and i love that that’s the consistent theme coming from this!! it really IS the answer. and wow and good for you for losing 60 pounds. so awesome!! that’s inspiring~ i’d love to hear more on HOW you did it, if you wouldn’t mind sharing!
@chulya - your words just always fill my sails and blow me straight to Jesus!! thank you sweet friend~ thankful for women like you – BEAUTIFUL women- further ahead of me that turn back and offer encouragement and remind me of what truly matters!
i’m thinking too that mine is kinda a weird length. like maybe it needs to be a tad shorter to look more like a real style. and funny that here i’m talking about CUTTING it when i just talked about hating it short. just proving once again – - clearly we don’t even know our own minds!! 
and i coudln’t agree more on those women you find the most beautiful. i feel the same exact way. women that i wasn’t overly struck w/ their beauty — now, that i know them better, are gorgeous to me. and just the opposite – women that maybe i thought were stunning when i first met them.. after knowing more of their heart? yikes. not much prettiness there at all. 
so blessed to know you and share in this walk of faith together of learning to know and trust Him more~ 
@CBrown6207 - haha. i think i liked mine for a day too!! but that’s because i ALWAYS like it when i walk out of the salon – - maybe if i could have a personal hair stylist live me and fix it everyday it would be a different story.
@seekinHISwisdom - awww.. i miss you panera buddy!
@Sharon - i’m trying to remember that..
@gwennieg - oh, the comparison to others gets us every time, eh? i hear ya. that’s why i liked what CBrown6207 said above about learning that the more she relaxes and cares less about what others are thinking, the more comfortable she is in her own skin. i’m learning that too..
@fruitloops115 - i had responded to everyone a bit ago and had closed the computer and went on to other things when i suddenly had you come to mind, and then remembered.. i didn’t remember responding to YOUR comment!
and i had wanted to because i SO got where you were coming from being pregnant and yes..as much as we know there’s nothing we can do about it, just still feeling that struggle with how we look and i think even more, how we FEEL! just so big and bloated and yucky. the summer months are always more difficult to carry a baby too, or i always felt they were. because just when everyone is pulling out their little shorts and cute sundresses, etc. you’re feeling like you’re walking around wearing a tent!! no. those last months of pregnancy just aren’t fun. but you’re almost there!! and you really are the cutest pregnant lady. i’m not just saying that. it DOES agree with you. in my opinion anyway, which i KNOW doesn’t change how you FEEL. :/ but soon, you’ll have that sweet baby boy in your arms and you’ll feel 100 pounds lighter. 
thanks for sharing your thoughts here~ i know it’s not an easy subject for any of us to put out there for the world to see.. and espeically when you’re pregnant and just more sensitive about it all. love you dear girl~
so, i know you weren’t compliment fishing, but!!
here is one anyway – you are crazy beautiful.
just go with me on this one, ; )
and as for all the other good stuff you said, i agree.agree.agree!
thanks for being you – i’ve said it before … here it is again though -
i have learned so much from you over the years, way to be like Jesus through a computer screen!
happy new week, friend ~
His love makes me beautiful! And honey… your hair is NOT short! Maybe shorter than it was, but not short. My hair is about 2 inches long and spiked. That is short!
My honey likes it, so since we just celebrated 39 years of hot, righteous love, what he likes, I like. I decided I didn’t want to be one of those grannies with kinky permed hair and huge spots of blush on my cheeks! Hee hee. I do think as you age, you accept yourself more. When I was a teen, I really hated myself. Now, I have made peace with my body type, myself. I like me. It feels good! Thank you for another good post that makes us think. Hugs from Denmark!
I had a random dream about you the other night. I dreamed you lived in this gorgoues old tudor house that sat atop a hill with a beautiful sunset. The windows were like the glass of a curio cabinet (you know the kind?) and the wood was all polished and shiny. I just remember it was one of the most beaitful houses I had ever seen and it was HUGE!
Maybe I was just dreaming of your mansion in glory!!
Have a blessed day today. For some reason I felt led to share my dream.
I’m SO late to this!! ugh….darn summer!
I’m resisting skinny compliments, just so you know. I’m an half exhorter, you know, so this is really hard for me! LOL
Anyhoo….I SO get what you’re saying. Every single word. It brings back to mind how quickly our value system gets screwed up. It’s one thing if you’re morbidly obese. Gotta fix that. But there’s like 20 pounds of healthy variance when it comes to weight, you know? Which means it boils down to a question of in that range of normal, where are YOU happy and for me, it’s part where is BRAD happy? Luckily for me, he fell in love with me just after I gained my “freshmen 15″ so I’ve got a little room for growth! ;-P
I’ve also learned that the guys aren’t nearly as hung up on the imperfections as we are. My dimples, (and I don’t mean the cute ones on the face) my stretch marks, my post baby parts (or lack thereof!!) don’t bother him one bit. I was just saying to him the other night, “It is NOT fair that you look exactly the same as you did when I married you 15 years ago! Look at me! Look at this! Look at that!” Funny thing was the more he looked, the happier he got!
And the hair? Cute as a button. But once again, I’ve been there too. Always had long hair. Always think about whacking it off. Have done that once or twice and have instant regret everysingletime. You have great hair, though. Hair that looks good short or long. I have a HUGE head which short hair just makes look even more huge. I’ve never seen cuter hair than Cindy, though. If I could do that, I so would.
Okay, I’ve got to run blitz my house cuz I have a sitter coming! Wahoo!
I love your size 10, short haired self.
Love your realness.
Blessings on your week!
@ToLiveLoved - i love what you said about brad
isn’t it interesting how women judge each other harsher than any man? my husband tells me over and over how much he loves me and my body! but o how hard it is to rest in his acceptance :/
Well I think you are pretty both with long and short hair! But I can relate to the insecurities myself. I recently wrote a post about that (protected..I think you r added to my protected list)
I think all women relate! We need to all band together on this one and assure each other that each is beautiful in the own unique way!
Your hair looks great! It is so smooth and healthy looking! I can’t relate to the long hair thing since mine has never been very long, but the whole weight thing I can completely relate to. I never feel comfortable with my body after my babies are born until I’m about 5 lbs. within my pre-pregnancy weight. It’s funny how cute I think pregnant women are until I’m pregnant, and cute it NOT what I feel!
Thank-you for the sweet comments you left on my blog. You are always such an encouragement to me!
~Kellie
i think you look great with shorter hair- and it will grow.you might decide by then that you like it after all.
enjoyed the post and the comments. i should have something wise to add here, but i am too insecure to comment about insecurities. haha. or too lazy. or both.
@H0LDfast - i could honestly just take everything you said and say, “right back at ya!!” i feel the same. especially about learning from your life!! thanks for being one of those women journeying all this with me. across a computer screen or not – - it still counts!
i know i atleast have a mansion waiting on me in heaven!!
i’m learning w/ all that too that when shayne compliments me he wants me just to accept it. to not always go off on everything i hate about my body~ there’s something about just shutting up and saying a simple thank you that means alot to him when it comes to all that. i’m working on it. 
i agree cindy has the cutest short hair. and she wears it w/ such class. it fits her personality too. which reminds me.. we still need to plan our summer trip!! 
@DanishDoll - ”hot righteous love..” i like the sounds of that!! amen. grateful for your example and i hope i’m a funky grandma like you someday. xo
@ajoyfulnusiance - awwww.. i hope it was a vision!!
@ToLiveLoved - so true that where we’re happy should be where our husband’s are happy with us too. i’m grateful to have a man that likes a bit of curve.
@cojoro2 - thank you!
@brokenmiracle - ”rest in his acceptance…” that’s a good way to put it. i’m working on that too!
@celebratinglifeandmotherhood - yes, amen! about banding together. i’ll have to go look up your post, i’d like to read it!!
@aretheyallyours - oh, i remember that feeling being pregnant.. that every other pregnant lady seemed so cute and classy and i just looked, BLAH!! which i’m so sure is not the case w/ you. even though you won’t agree w/ me.
and i’m continuing to think of you w/ the loss of your mom. i know even carrying this little one probably seems a tad sad to think she’ll never get to meet her. the other kids will have lots of stories and memories to fill her in on the wonderful lady she never got to know. 
hugs tonight friend.
@richlyblest - aw. i love! and it’s just fine to not feel you have anything wise to add.. i feel that way all the time!
I love you girl! Once again……..you’ve nailed it. That hair thing gets me everytime…why are bangs the rage when I don’t have them, I get them cut, and suddenly everyone has grown them out? I’m just amazed that I can be so clueless about what to do with hair!
Okay, so maybe I need to get rid of the scales…I’ve tried, but it’s packing a heavy punch right now, and I HATE IT! Been trying for weeks to lose a measly 5#s before my sister’s wedding, and here I am down to 3 days before and dangling within a # of where i started…..so maybe I’ll just believe Iz and go with the whole I’m perfect thing
….fat chance of that right? It is so hearing Jesus speak to my heart and believeing His words to me………resting in who He’s made me to be, knowing that I’m a mother of 6 and my gut without miraculous intervention will never go away….and unless I want to get serious about working out I might as well be happy. Some days there is a deep sense of contentment and other days it alludes me………so it’s going on TRUTH and not be my fickle feelings in the moment………and I bet my kids would rather have me 5#s heavy and cheerful than obesessing about the stupid #s and looking a tad slimmer. So mind transformation…..Thank You Jesus! Thanks for speaking truth girl……….
Love your new cut, Amber! Very cute and flattering. I relate to insecurities you mentioned. My husband really dislikes it when I talk about how overweight I think I am, etc….
The Lord has been impressing on my heart that He is more concerned with the matters of my heart…my thoughts, my actions, what I focus on and attitudes. When those things align with what the Bible teaches, true beauty will radiate. I see that in your pictures and I’m working on those things in my own life. It is important that we take care of the “temples” the Lord gave us too. Since I’m a cancer survivor, diet and exercise are very important…..even a mandate from my doctor. (He forgets I’m menopausal) Ha ha
Thank you for your post! Very thought provoking!
seriously, i love your short hair! you look so youthful and pretty. i mean not that you didn’t before- but yes i just really, really like it!
I had to do some pretty hard convincing to get my wife to believe I’d find her just as beautiful with short hair. She cut hers from very long and time consuming to extremely short and just as stunning, several years ago. Hers was so heavy she would get headaches, and it was forever falling out and getting frizzy in Maryland’s awful humidity, and it seemed (to me) to be way more of a bother than it was worth. Looking at pictures, I think she is prettier in the short hair now that she’s gained the confidence to pull it off. CONFIDENCE. You have a man who loves you and a houseful of kids who (I’m certain) adore you. Rock the new style. I think it looks neater and more put together than the old one, even if you did pick a bad picture of the old style to go beside the new one.
Hope you’re feeling better by now….I want to share with you my #1 beauty tip that one of my girlfriends shared with me YEARS ago when I was NOT wanting to get into a bathing suit ever again (after having my first few babies)….”CONFIDENCE is A WOMAN’s MOST SEXIEST BODY PART.”
@Izzysgal - and I bet my kids would rather have me 5#s heavy and cheerful than obesessing about the stupid #s and looking a tad slimmer…
so true. i feel the same. not that i can’t be skinner and cheerful too, ha. but to the point of obesessing over it and allowing it control my attitudes, no. so not worth it.
i was telling shayne that funny, when i’m stressed i can’t eat. so you would think after this past year i’d be 50 pounds or something.
miss you friend~ coming north at all this summer. would love a halfway visit again!
@MSWEAVERCHICK - amen and amen!! i’m often convicted over not putting as much thought and energy into my HEART beauty as i am my outward.. thank you for that good word. and a big loud YAY on being a cancer survivor. praise God!
@baileyandme - thanks jenny. you always make me smile.@lightnindan - thanks dan. and yes.. so thankful i have a man that thinks i’m beautiful no matter what my hair looks like!
thanks for commenting. i like a man’s perspective here. 
@purpleamethyst76 - thanks shan. yes, i agree. maybe too much so which is why i never try hard enough to lose these extra pounds. 
For whatever it’s worth….I love your haircut! You look so young!!!!!! But it is all about how YOU feel. But I still love it.
I so understand….I decided to get more layers and take about 3 inches off my hair before my niece’s wedding…well, the girl cutting my hair didn’t really look at the picture I showed her. She got a bit carried away….and my color… I was so stressed over my hair until I went back and had her “fix it” somewhat. I was so annoyed at myself for loosing my peace over hair. Not just saying this, but I do think your hair looks really pretty. And you seem to be just as beautiful on the inside as the outside. Praying you and your sweet family are doing well. How did school go this year? I would love to hear how the transition to public school went. We may be making that transition this next year and it would be geat to hear how others walking the same path are doing. Have a blessed day, friend!!!
@CurrySparks - thanks girl. and actually.. it’s kinda GROWIN on me. no pun intended. ha!!
miss you~ xo
@Blessingsofabigfamily - oh, i know what you mean about being annoyed with yourself for losing your peace over it. YES!!! so how i felt. i’ve gotten used to it somewhat and am trying to just remember it’s a phase that too shall pass. haha!! i often think about how my attitude about my appearance will rub off on my girls.. they pick up way more than i think they do. and school.. i should write a whole post about it. hmm.. maybe i will.
there are so many layers to it all, but i will say, over all.. it was a GOOD experience and whether we send the kids next year or not. well, that’s still up for debate and MUCH prayer!!! 
thanks for all your encouragement deb~ you’re such a sweetheart.
@grace_to_be - Thank you!! You too!!
yes, i know I’m horribly late on commenting on this post but I’ve been at camp and just got back and am catching up on people’s lives. About the hair…I’d decided this spring that I was going to live through the heat of camp with long hair and then come home and cut if off. Your hair struggles sound just like mine! I still can’t seem to cut it but yet I don’t like it long. Years ago I used to think long hair covered my top “fat half”
quite NOT true 
It seems like when it’s super long I get the most compliments on it but it’s so stink’n hot and thick. My latest thing is as soon as the shortest layer is long enough to donate I’m chopping it off. we’ll see if I follow through with that…your post is making me rethink my decision to cut it 
BTW I think your hair looks super cute!
on another note every time we have that “I’m fat” thought maybe we should just do 20 jumping jacks. It would either make us thin and quit complaining or make us take our thought’s captive
@redladybug18 - hey girl.. i was wondering where you’d been. missed you around these parts!
i think your idea of jumping jacks is GREAT. i’m pretty sure i wouldn’t get thin – but i might just stop complaining! 
welcome back~