August 15, 2012

• {and then we could breathe again}

  cancer.
  it’s a word i hate.
  a word you never want to hear out of the mouth of a doctor.
  or over the phone from someone you love you so much.
  it strikes so much fear.
  it’s taken so many lives.

  and i’ve wondered, why should mine be any different?
  that is always the thought that goes through my head when i hear tragedy.
  “why have you spared us, Lord.” and then, such gratefulness He has.

  still, you never really think it will be you. someone you love.
  you’re never truly prepared for that. until it becomes a possibility.
  and even then. are you ever prepared?
  you just kinda hunker down inside. hoping and praying..
  suddenly seeing life from a clearer perspective that you wish didn’t take these kinds of things to make you see in this way -
  as it should be. for what really matters. what lasts. what’s eternal.

  for weeks now, in our family, i feel we’ve all been holding our breath as my mom’s health took a turn for the worse.
  i’ve never felt more helpless, or more far away. and the waiting.
  ugh! the waiting is just brutal!

  waiting in doctor’s offices. waiting on calls back. waiting for tests. waiting for the next step..
  waiting for surgery. and most of all, waiting on this day, wednesday, for the results about it all.

  her appointment was early, and i was glad…
  i didn’t want to have to try to distract my mind all day from worrying.
  i don’t usually wake up terribly early, as those of you who know me, know.
  but this morning, i did. and laid in bed, holding the phone in my hand, waiting for her call.
  so many things go through your mind in those kind of times of waiting.

  finally, she called and i don’t even remember if we said, hi, first. only the words, “it was benign!”
  and i don’t think i knew just how tightly i was really holding my breath, until i heard that.
  and then i felt all giddy. and then we cried together.

  there are precancerous cells that they will begin to treat.
  but we are just so thankful for a positive result and even the fact that they’ve now caught the precancer and can begin dealing with that.

  thank you, so much, to those who have been praying. ~

  ya know. i’ve been sitting here all morning thinking of how there’s some tough stuff that comes at us in life.
  every day there is the temptation to get discouraged..
  to believe the lies the God doesn’t care. He’s distant or silent.
  but regardless of what we’re facing, the good always outweighs the bad.
  because God is always good .. and positive test results or no, that never changes!!
  and we can trust His plan, even when it doesn’t make sense, or seems hurtful.

  what we have to be grateful for far, far exceeds any of the trials that overshadow that at times…

  just to be alive. today! what a gift.

  thank you Jesus for each new day. for protection and health.
  everything is Your mercy. and we are held in the palm of Your hand.
  thank you.

  these were the verses i read this morning. familiar, but so comforting.

  “Fear no, for I have redeemed you.
  I have called you by name. You are mine.

  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you,
  and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.

  When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,
  neither will the flame even scorch you.
  For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Saviour.

  You are precious in my sight and I have loved you.” isa. 43

  
  

  i hope your heart’s encouraged just simply remembering we have a God that loves us.
  that cares. that hears. that heals. that redeems. that saves. that KNOWS.
  and that thinks we’re pretty special too!

  it’s a happy day!

  • 10:45 am
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