February 14, 2013

  • {birthdays. getting older. and a list of 39 for my 39th}

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    when i was at my parents house a few weeks ago, while i was getting ready in the bathroom one morning i found myself thinking of all the times through the years i had stood there, in that very spot, just like that.. 

    thirteen, and leaning in close to examine the newest pimple. certain my life was over!
    sixteen, applying make up and hoping dad wouldn’t say it was too much.
    eighteen, checking my navy blue suit one last time before leaving to travel on a team with our home school organization…
    {where i would end up meeting my husband.. but wouldn’t know that for years still to come – that he was husband!} ;)
    twenty, and staring in the mirror blinking back tears, regret over stupid choices and knowing i needed to go out and tell my parents some hard stuff.
    then twenty two, my wedding morning!! standing there for hours curling every single strand of hair to pile high on my head.
    and that same year, on a visit home, seeing a different image looking back. bloated. swollen. pregnant! 
    and soon, little ones that could barely see over the countertop.
    to now, my own teenage girl standing there next to me, getting ready, same as i always did.

    and i shook my head inwardly at it all. the soberness and even humor of it striking me.
    how when you’re young you just never really think ahead to this point in life. 
    that there even is such a thing as 39, and 40? that was always my parents age. ;)


    it all seems rather forever away
    until days like that one when you find yourself standing in front of old childhood mirrors and see it lined up before you that way.

    suddenly this realization of all these years. all this life that’s already passed. 

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    but i don’t talk about any of that with remorse. i’ve loved this life! it’s been good.
    it doesn’t bother me at all to get older. it never really has.
    oh, i don’t like the shifting body parts or deeper lines around the eyes.

    my girlfriends and i will hold our faces back on the sides and say, “here’s what we used to look like!” ;)

    but i wouldn’t want to rewind the tape.
    i wouldn’t want to go back to “looking like what i was.”
    though more weathered and worn there is a contentment now..
    a settling that has come only by the years passed through.

    like this slow building calm that continues to grow the more i learn who i am, and more importantly, who i am IN CHRIST!


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    and so as the last door to my 30′s opens i want to walk through it with hope
    not dread or fear of the unknown. of more wrinkles. or getting older! ;)
    but with passion and abandon to whatever this new year holds.

    i think of these words often, from a favorite hymn..
    “His grace has led me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.”

    yes. that’s it exactly.

    amazing grace!

    and may i never lose that amazement~
    how an extraordinary God like Him could have such a great big heart for someone just.like.me!

    “for He loves us with unfailing love, the Lord’s faithfulness endures forever.
    He is my God and i will praise Him…” ps. 117

    “the Lord is trustworthy in all He promises and faithful in all He does.” ps.145


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    a few nights ago i decided to sit down and write out 39 things to remember and seek to live in my 39th year~
    some notes to myself if you will.
    the list ended up being much longer than 39 ;) but here’s some of the ones i pulled from it…

    1. Be someone others like to be around
    2. Take pictures – and lots!
    3. Don’t just say, “love you.” Personalize it and add, “I.”
    4. A little lipstick and mascara is always a good idea.
    5. Not everyone is going to like you – it’s okay. Focus on the ones that do!  
    6. Beauty really is as beauty does.
    7. Be the loudest cheerleader your kids hear – trust me, others are cheering them on too.. and not always in the right direction.
    8. Your mother in law is not out to get you. Make her your friend!
    9. A content heart makes a happy home.
    10. Be a girls girl. Embrace the women around you.
    11. You’re going to get old. Do it with grace!
    12. The best way to answer a critic is not at all – just live! Let your life do the speaking
    13. Having STUFF does not make you happy!
    14. Look for the good.
    15. Most arguments aren’t worth it.
    16. Make your husband glad to come home.
    17. Don’t live life looking back – the past has brought you to today and made you who you are.
    18.
    God’s Word is the worldview we need!
    19. Let the applause you seek come from above you, not around you. 
    20. If you think something good about someone, tell them!
    21. There’s a story behind everyone. 
    22.
    Don’t let diet and exercise control your life – eat that piece of cake. Occasionally, eat the whole thing!
    23. Nothing on facebook is as important as the faces in your home.
    24. Complaining never changes anything.
    25. Be kinder than necessary.
    26.
    Nothing can meet your needs like Jesus!  and nothing includes people.
    27. Be able to laugh at yourself.
    28. Sit down every night for dinner together- even if it’s just mac-n- cheese {again!} it’s the conversation the kids will remember, not the food!
    29. Choosing not to forgive has consequences – many of them show up on your face!
    30. Words are easy, actions are hard.
    31. Make time for God – even if it’s in the bathroom.
    32. Listen.
    33. Let your kids know you’re happy to see them. {words, optional}
    34. People are thinking about you far less then you think they are- pointless to worry over something that’s only speculation.
    35. Be open about your insecurities – it’s what keeps us relatable.
    36. Your kids need to know you love their dad
    37. Don’t wait for your house to be perfect before having people over – if it’s perfect, they probably won’t want to come anyway.
    38. God.is.enough.God.is.enough.God.is.enough.God.is.enough.God.is.enough. {memorize it!}  
    39. Let others know they matter!

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    ****

    i wrote this early yesterday morning but never got a chance to get it up..
    the day was so full from beginning to end.

    i had really purposed to go into this birthday with no expectations..
    expectations just end up robbing you of any joy you could have gotten regardless.
    and i had to smile last night realizing it turned out to be one of the best!

    shayne took all the kids to school and then reese out for the morning so i could have some alone time.
    i love that. being in my house, just me. i mean, when does that ever happen really, right?
    then i went to have lunch with what i thought was just two of my girlfriends..
    turns out it was all of my girlfriends {minus one that went into labor and had a baby!} :) and a surprise party for me!


    i’m not an easy person to surprise, so the fact that they did made it all even more exciting!
    though i’m still not sure if i should be disturbed by the fact that i have friends that are such good liars! ;)  
    then it was home for a bit, hearing all about the kids school days.. them “secretly” trying to make my cards and get my gifts together.
    and heading out for dinner at my favorite thai restaurant and then on to ben’s hockey
    game later that night.

    i think my heart and stomach felt equally full yesterday! ;)

    so blessed and grateful for the people God has put in my life~

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    so bring on this last year of the 30′s. i’m ready to do it!!!

    thanks to kate and ben for the pictures.
    that’s the problem with having
    birthday photo shoots with your kids all these years..
    the time comes when they reverse the role and say, “mom, your turn!”
    ;)

    very fun though and i’m sure someday i’ll laugh and sigh, same as i did that morning at mom’s, looking back years from now remembering my 39th.

    and my grandkids.. they’ll probably just wonder why i wore those hideous yellow boots! ;)

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    “His faithfulness never fails. it endures forever and is exceeding.” ps. 119

    amber.

Comments (45)

  • You are a wise, wise woman, and you ROCK those boots, honey! Happy birthday. Every day of the year, may you feel Jesus near.

  • Happy Birthday! A great list and your grandchildren will probably wish they had those boots!

  • Happy Birthday! Enjoy your year. And the forties are even better.

  • Grinning about the boots ~   You are a very lovely 39 ~ have a wonderful birthday and Happy Hearts Day to you ~

  • So glad you had a wonderful birthday Amber! Blessing to you in the new year. You’re a beautiful woman. Inside and out! What fun to have your teenage kids do a photo shoot of you!

  • Thie was a very inspiring post. Happy birthday and those boots are fantastic!

  • Happy Birthday again! I love your list of 39 things. So many good thoughts!!

  • Happy Birthday, Beautiful Friend! I’m rounding the end of “39″ and I wouldn’t go back. Each year it seems I feel more “settled” into who I am in Christ and (thankfully) more “unsettled” in this earthly body. God is so faithful!

  • you are the picture of grace and gracefulness…all done up with a flair of femininity and i LOVE that about you Amber. so glad to hear you had such a special birthday. and your list. oh my, i so related to them and my heart felt comforted knowing i have friends like you. (your card is getting to you late.)

  • dear friend, as I settle into the mid30′s i’m thankful for your reflections and your reminders. Some are things that i’m just beginning to learn and some that i’ve put off acknowledging in my own life. Thank you so much. What an absolutely fabulous birthday…especially the time with girlfriends and out with family for Thai and cheering Ben on!!! love that. I also love that you were able to head home and see your parents, cause I know how you love them so!!!May the year ahead be a good one for you dearest, perhaps it will be the one where we ‘meet up’ again ;) love you and wish God’s richest blessings on you.

  • Happy Birthday. You are SO beautiful. The boots are fabulous. and since we don’t wear the same shoe size, they don’t make you look fat. ;)
    Your list…I am going to print it out! (hope you don’t mind) What an encouragement to anyone who reads your 39 things!

    Glad you had a wonderful birthday!
    XxOo

  • I love your list of 39 things. : ) I hope you have a wonderful year enjoying doing those things you mentioned. Love ya!

  • happy 39th amber!!! you are stunning…heart and body ;)

  • Happy birthday! Love the way you celebrate life!

  • how i LOVE your kids photoshooting YOU! and how i love your wisdom beyond your years! i’ve weathered some of the storms of your life with you….and i just want to say that i am SO VERY PROUD of you! you must be full….because “a cheerful heart has a continual feast.” prov. 15:13 <3

  • you shine and are beauitful! I wish I was as brave as you to post pictures of myself on my birthday. I like that about you. I hope when I’m 39 I’m that mature. Thanks for setting a good example of here is who I am, take it or leave it, but I’m dancing for Him. This post encourages me to brave the cruel world and not worry. . . so thanks.

    Happy Birthday! you make 39 look fun – I hear it’s the new 20′s. I’ve got a bit still til then, but can’t wait if it means closer to Jesus.
    Blessings
    lys

  • I totally loved your list!! And Happy Birthday to you!  I’m not that far off from 39 myself!  I think aging gracefully is definitely something to strive for.  I always love when I see a woman who has accomplished that. And its probably usually by not thinking about it too much!

  • *though more weathered and worn there is a contentment now..
    a settling that has come only by the years passed through.* Oh yes, indeed!

    Your list is a precious one, I esp love 20, 35, oh and 36! Well, ya, I could keep listing them.
    Good stuff, Amber. Continue to enjoy the birthdays, each day will find glorious things.
    Happy Birthday!

  • i loved this post Amber!! i hope your birthday was a wonderful day!
    i’m so glad you had that surprise from your friends and the time to yourself and that your kids made YOU be the subject of a FUN and BEAUTIFUL photoshoot!! i love it!
    your list….this to i love. and, it’s inspiring and challenging to me. maybe i’ll write a list for my next birthday…it seems so ‘drive a stake in the ground’ like to put a list together like this. number 31; oh, yes. this resonates with me. so much so, that i recently put a Bible in the bathroom, cuz…ya know. some days, that’s about the only time you sit down when you’re the mom!!
    love to you my friend!
    may 39 be a beautiful prelude to a fabulous 40!
    xo

  • happy birthday! glad it was a fun day.
    love your yellow boots AND your list – good stuff – thanks for sharing!

  • Happy birthday! I agree, 39 has never seemed so young as it does now that it’s me. ;) I could relate to so much here, and the “calm” that you spoke of. The older I get, sometimes I think the less I know. But one thing I’ve learned, my Sweet Jesus is faithfull! And the material things of life, aren’t quite as “urgent” as I once thought. So thankful our paths have crossed in blogger land….:o)

  • Happy Birthday Amber!! Good list, and much of it applies at any age.

  • You are an amazing woman, such an encourager. I love your list of wisdom…those things only come with learning and falling and growing. Fab boots but please do not send them to me. ; ) Happy 39 dear friend. ♥

  • happy birthday Amber! I reeeally loved your list!

  • Happy  Birthday, Amber!  Your list was so encouraging.  The pictures are great and you look beautiful!  Hope you have a wonderful year!

  • Happy birthday! I liked your thoughts here and the pictures are so pretty!

  • Beautiful.  Just beautiful.  :)

  • I will repeat the others in saying Happy Birthday, and what a good list! Most of all 5, 19, and 29.

    Wishing you His richness in this coming year.

  • aw, now that it’s past i remember your birthday was close to valentines.
    you’re such a beauty. love your list.
    xoxo

  • “But the wisdom that comes from Heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.” James 3:17 This describes YOU! :)

    Weren’t your toes about frozen?? Or maybe the yellow of the boots kept them warm ;)

  • Happy happy birthday and you look very beautiful!!!! I loved your list !!!!!!! So wise and peace giving

  • Oh Amber, I LOVED this!!
    I love YOU!
    I loved your thoughts on getting older,
    and it kind of blows me away to hear someone say they wouldn’t want to go back,
    because I hear of people wanting to go back quite often.
    Living in the “good old days”, you know?
    But I LOVED your perspective, and how it’s all about pressing to Jesus!
    Life is better now because there is a deeper walk with Jesus.
    And your 39 things!
    I was going, #12! I love that one! no, 19, no, 20!
    and finally I just realized I like them ALL.
    Happy happy birthday!
    I love your free-spirit, even in the midst of criticism and misunderstandings.
    You really DO live for the approval of One, and it shows.
    I can’t wait to be 39 if it means being like YOU!
    xoxo

  • I’m glad you had a nice birthday! I don’t relish the thought of getting older, so you gave me something to think about. Great list!

  • Your reflections are full of sobering wisdom. And your list of 39 things? Gems. Every last one. Thank you for sharing them. I will say however, that as a simply man, I know nothing of foot fashion. But I could tell immediately that those boots were no ordinary run-of-the-mill footwear. And you wear them well!

  • Beautiful!

  • Happy Belated Birthday! Sounds like you had a great birthday and will have an even better 39th year. The 40′s are good!

  • Happiest of birthdays, Amber!  I, too, have never worried about age – my Daddy was 2 months shy of 40 when I was born!  And you are aging BEAUTIFULLY!

    I loved your reminiscing on standing before that mirror, and winding up standing there with Kate.  It was a precious mind-picture for me!  Love you!

  • Love this! What a fantastic way to celebrate your birthday. And I love your list! I’m super impressed you could compile it. I think about one or two of those things at a time and think, this is a great mantra. Then a week later I think something else, but by then I’m sure I’d have forgotten the first two. :) BTW, are you ageless? :) You make getting older look fun and exciting!

  • Love this post and your list. Lots of good wisdom in there. You’re so cute and beautiful inside and out!
    Like your last line…and my grandkids.. they’ll probably just wonder why i wore those hideous yellow boots! ;) I think they’re cute!

  • Happy birthday, Amber! You are a woman I admire–real, encouraging, life-giving. I’m SO glad you had a birthday that was filled with things you love and that celebrated you!

  • Happy (late) birthday friend… we’re coming up on one year in a few days… can’t believe it’s been a YEAR since I’ve seen you!

  • i love your 39 list. Think I might copy the idea for my next birthday of 36. And Happy Birthday, beautiful woman of so much heart. i loved those pictures that your kids took of you! You make 39 proud.

  • Happy Birthday Amber! You look marvelous!

  • i am LOVING your list. at first i thought i’d pick out my fav numbers… but couldn’t really. the whole thing needs copied. remembered. and LIVED.
    and i’ll say that as far as #39, you ARE that person, that friend, who lets others know that they matter. and you do it so.very.well. 

    i’m YAYing for kids that made your pictures happen! that’s so cool. and you rock those boots. seriously… i think that your grandkids are gonna SEE and love their grandma’s hip-ness. :) and who knows? that kind of footwear might be back around till then!

    and another YAY while i’m at it! for one of the best birthdays for you. and for surprise luncheon parties with girlfriends.
    happy HAPPY 39th birthday! and wishing you Jesus, because that’s wishing “you everything,” (love that song)
    for your upcoming adventure—another year! much love and big hugs.

  • hey lady….I’m 9 years ahead of you! and I LOVE your list…I think I’m going to copy it and hang it somewhere where I will be reminded OFTEN!!!!! So many of the things on your list are values I’ve come to KNOW and believe…but when I have days like I had yesterday….It’s good to be reminded!!!!! Happy LIVING!!!!!

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