October 4, 2011
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{about those teenage girls}
below is an entry i wrote months ago, just in the little notebook journal i keep by my bed..
and the pictures of kate are from back in the summer sometime, in a canola field~
i never knew canola oil came from such a pretty plant.
there was just field upon field of them around here.
journal entry from summer::
i sit on the bed in her room and look down at her long skinny legs drawn up tight to her chin. her head is down.
i can’t see her face. but i know there are tears.
tears that come from hurt and confusion. from insecurity.
from, just because she’s thirteen.
and thirteen can be hard like that.
you can cry for no reason at all.
and we sit in silence for moments long.
and i sigh a few times. and wonder after the million words swirling round my head.
words that i could say, and maybe i should.
and how i want to get it right and not mess it all up.
i think of scripture i could give. inspiration to offer.
instead. i find myself slipping down on the floor beside her.
my shoulder brushes hers and i say quietly, “i understand.”
and then we sit some more.
she and i. the two.
only this time, it’s different.
not me overhead, looking down.
but right by her side.
and i feel it so strongly. just then.
her trying to figure out this thing of womanhood.
me, trying to figure it out as well.
us together. on this journey.
and i realize there will be times along the way..
when she doesn’t need the great lectures.
the speeches and scripture verses quoted.
the reminders of God’s bigger purpose…
no. sometimes she.just.needs.me.
silent.
beside her.
letting her know i get it. i’m in this thing with her.
not as the wise teacher i used to think i’d be, before i had kids.
but simply, learning as i go. as we go.
figuring it out one grace paved step at a time.
crazy girl emotions and all!
·´¸.·¨) ¸.·¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ (¸.·¨¯`♥ amber
Comments (33)
It’s just so true. The need and desire for a simple understanding. Rather than wise words, you had wise silence. This growing up thing is hard on a teenage girl. And a young mom. And a 50+ year old grandmother!
Beautiful pics of a stunning young lady!
Beautiful post – thanks!
i want to just soak in your understanding of 13 year old girls. i actually have tears in my eyes because i am so close to sitting there with my own barely teen girl…millions of words swirling. millions of questions as to WHICH kind of response is needed…sigh. i have had a trying month with a 10.5 yr old. a melancholy to the core…an introvert who wants so badly to be an extrovert. awkward. uncertain.
please read more about this Kate of yours. i am hanging on to your insightful mother heart.
love your wise, sensitive soul.
AND. Kate is beautiful. the pics have a certain kind of longing in them. love them.
As they get older, handling things gets tougher, more confusing, doesn’t it? It’s not just a simple…”Cheer up and go play toys”.. And away they go with a smile. It’s hard.I feel like I know nothing sometimes. I like that you just sat right by her. That’s what she needed I’m sure. To know that you are with her and there for her. =)
Gorgeous pictures. I never knew canola grew that way, I never thought about it, how pretty.
I can’t believe how old Kate is looking. She is so pretty.
She is so very beautiful ~ bless her heart ~
The first picture is just gorgeous. I would love it hanging by my kitchen sink.
Your mother heart is beautiful. I remember that stage of life so well…that awkward place between girl and woman…She is so pretty!
Thank you for giving wise counsel to those of us coming behind with little girls!
And I will just add…..I have two daughters…..and I understand…..
Gorgeous pix, as usual girl!
Beautiful pictures – beautiful post.
I think you did just the right thing. She is beautiful.
somehow we blink and our babies are teenagers. =O and sometimes I think the older I get the less I know too.
“not as the wise teacher i used to think i’d be, before i had kids. but simply, learning as i go. as we go.” very true!
Lovely pictures. Beautiful daughter. Compassionate journaling. God bless you!
she is a beautiful teenager
the closeness with a daughter is one of the greatest joys in our lives.
What a beautiful daughter…. w a beautiful mama! These pics make me so happy for you, having the joy of her. Love the flowers too. Didn’t know it was a flower like that…
precious! I am only a year behind you w/my oldest daughter, we have already had a few of those moments together. Lord prepare us to be moms who are ready to be there, listen, encourage, and instruct. love ya Amber….p.s. I took a break from facebook for a while…miss you….love to keep up w/your blog though. Hugs!
i kinda feel like your last comment … ‘i am always saying the same thing here ….’ so here we go again : )
you’re heart bleeds such a sincere beauty & honesty. i’m glad to be a few years behind you in the oldest daughter mothering, reading up your wisdom.
kate is a beauty.
way to keep showing her Jesus ~
My daughter is just 12 and she’s beautiful too. She would look like midnight beside your daughter’s blue, blue eyes and blond hair.
I really needed this post. I tend to talk and talk, trying to make sense of a situation and trying to make Victoria open up and be real. When right now I know life is so confusing and she doesn’t know what real is! Thank you for these powerful words.
Kate is so very pretty. And don’t you just love canola? July is my favorite time of year up here because I never get tired of canola in bloom. It’s different after it freezes in the fall and smells like broccoli. ewww!
and, with these thoughts in mind, i’m going to (try to) enjoy the 4 year old drama.
sigh.
i so remember the Hard things about the teenage years, and i so do not look forward to them with my daughter…not because i think she will be so horrible, but because i just so do not want to mess up. i love how you wrote this journal entry out for us…so many good and wise insights.
and, Kate?
she is such a beautiful young lady.
so grown up looking.
happy wednesday!
BEAUTIFUL!
Wowza, she looks like you! I had tears in my eyes reading about you just sitting with her. What a huge blessing!
On a totally different note, eating one tablespoon of canola oil a day can reduce your risk of colon cancer by 60%. Just you know, FYI.
The pictures of Kate are so gorgeous they nearly make me stammer! You know, sometimes I still shiver thinking back to being thirteen. And reading your words makes me more than a little glad that we have two boys right now. Not that they don’t have issues to work through …. but the mystery of womanhood is no small thing.
I love how you listen to Spirit, rather than reasoning. One of the most beautiful posts I’ve ever read. More than read, this was an experience. Truly.
Amber, it was just refreshing to sit here and read your last several posts and have me some Amber time. Such a reminder to me of how swiftly time goes by with all the birthdays and such. These photo’s of Kate are way beautiful. She is such a picture of her mamma and she reminds me of such a graceful/gracious lady. EnJOY the ride…. in a perfect world mistakes wouldn’t happen… but life is real and i love your heart to mother in the real.
And Kate, just in case your mother lets you read this, i’d be so proud to call you my daughter. and i know your mother is. i really hope to someday be able to meet you in person.
Amber – your photos are absolutely beautiful! I love everything about them! I also didn’t know about the canola plant – makes for a stunning backdrop to a gorgeous model.
I think we all at times need someone to just sit and not give us all their wisdom but just to say, “I understand” So much is summed up in those two words! It’s tough growing up.
On a different note I love the pictures! The ones of Kate look almost vintage-y.
I had no idea canola oil came from that kind of plant. It’s so pretty and that farm picture is too!
Blessings to you and may God give you wisdom and grace as you continue down this journey in life.
What a beautiful gem of truth you have shared and part of mothering that we miss so often. You are an amazing mother to just be able to stop and realize the need to just “be” with your daughter……deeply touched by your post. Thank you. May your Godly wisdom continue to help your through these teenage years! …..Christy
This was amazing. It reminds me of when I was thirteen, I cried *all* the time, so sick of the lectures, of this was part of “life” I look back, and am so thankful for the Mom that I have, always there to talk, and to cry. I will never forget those precious moments.It’s still true today, sometimes, so far away across he world, I just need my Mommy, but she’s not here… I have to cry on my own, wishing she was here. Thank you for this post. <3
Loving all your pictures!!!
~Lauren
@bethro78 - i lol. you are something. here i am all equipped with such a meaningful post…and colon tips too. really i have the bestest girlfriends.
now that i know how to take care of my colon…
so. much. beauty that you’ve offered. not just with the pictures of your daughter, and yes she is very much so.
but also through your sweet heart and wisdom of just being. and being next to. and being next to and quiet.
precious thoughts for us moms.
and it all can kinda fit with girlfriends too.
because sometimes tears come from hurt and confusion. from insecurity. from, just because we’re thirty-something.and thirty-something can be hard like that.you can cry for no reason at all.
love.
I all to well remember those days of wanting my mom to just sit and hug me, just hug the misery away of growing up and not wanting to face change. My daughter is 12 and in those ‘tearful’ moments. And she doesn’t know why she is crying. It is hard for me to see my girl have to go through that….Thanks for the encouragement! Your such a blessing…..Kris
What a beautiful daughter and may God continue to give you wisdom.. Love to read your blogs, it has been such an inspiration to me. I have four daughters and thinking about them being teenagers makes me feel old
“sometimes she just needs me silent beside her” I love that… Sometimes words are not necessary just silence and knowing you care….
You have such a beautiful soul, Amber. The time to know when to be silent…that will be and is a hard one for me. But I know you are right about that. Sometimes they don’t need us to talk and give them all kinds of advice. I love that…how you talked about learning together. Because I sure thought I would have a lot more stuff figured out by the time I was 33 and had three kids. Wow!!
Thirteen can be so hard!!! You are such a wise mama!!!