October 31, 2012

• {learning to say our words the right way}

  
  
  
  
  i drove a little fairy to school this morning.
  which doesn’t seem right.
  but it was raining out and from what i understand, fairies can’t fly if their wings are wet!

  she was grinning from ear to ear from the second i woke her up.
  she wanted fairy eyes. and i tried my best at swirls and whirls.

  now when i take her to school i just pull up and she jumps out.
  two of her little girlfriends were waiting for her by the gate.
  i heard their squeals even through the rolled up window and saw them all cluster up tight in a pack and walk off together.

  i’m so happy she’s doing so well, after some rough first weeks at the beginning of wondering if she ever would.
  and i feel over and over God has assured me we’ve made the right choice in sending her.
  because when she was struggling, of course, natural instinct as a mama is to want them close. home…
  away from any hurt or hard or anything that will bring a tear.  

  
  
  
  every day she’s full of stories and new facts learned and loves her teacher.
  though she told me the other day she thinks she’s the only one cause when she asked the other kids at lunch,
  “who loves mrs. verner raise your hand!”
  no one raised their hand. opps.

  her class went on a field trip monday to a science center and she was fascinated by all the bugs.
  her eyes just glowed with all the information she gathered that day!

  she said she thinks she wants to be a teacher someday, but not like math and stuff, because that’s too hard. only the easy stuff.
  see. a girl right after my heart..
  probably why i was never that great at homeschooling –
  i just wanted to be a teacher of the easy stuff! like lunch and recess!!

  she’s started speech classes each week now and already there’s such an improvement with her words.
  though i admit, part of my heart is a little sad to see those sweet emma words,
  as only she would say them replaced with the normal grown up ones.
  though i know, of course, it’s time!

  yesterday when getting her coat on she said,

  “i’m going to foot, i mean, p-PUT my coat on now, mom.”

  i smiled from the kitchen where i was making her lunch.

  
  
  yes. the foot for put and tatie for katie and fart for smart i’ll always look back on and smile.
  sweet girl.

  and when she got a little teary eyed a few weeks ago that none of her other friends had to take speech class like she did, i assured her..

  oh, all of us.. even us big people.. never stop learning how to properly say things!

  we all need a lesson in the speech class from time to time on making sure we add grace to our words. sensitivity to our sentences and understanding to our conversations, right?

  books and teachers and homework assignments might one day end. but the learning never does!

  
  someone else wanted to be a fairy too, like big sister!

  
  
  ****

  and speaking of words. i wanted to share a bit more about my camera.
  because, as weird as it might seem, WORDS were a big part of it. ..
  and i know i was vague in the previous post. and i hate vague stories. they’re so not fun.
  the fun is in the details.
  and it’s in the details where we often see God the biggest.~

  but a week ago tuesday, my girlfriend shara asked to meet for coffee at starbucks.
  we met at eleven and two hours later were still chatting away.
  towards the end, i asked if she still wanted me to take her family christmas pictures.
  i had had some others that had asked as well and i was going to try to coordinate them all on the same weekend and then rent a camera…

  kind of a strange look came over her face and right away i thought i had made her feel awkward.
  and of course. i did what i always do in awkward moments.. just talk more!

  “i mean.. if you don’t want me to take your pictures that’s just fine no problem or if you asked deb or someone else or..”

  and then. shara just smiled and leaned over and took my hands and said,
  “no. we want you take our picture, and… we want to buy you a new camera to do it with.
  no more renting. no more borrowing. you need your very own camera again!”

  i think i was still in the middle of my awkward jabbering and i stopped mid sentence as her words sank in.
  after a series of a few, “what? huh? are you serious?” my eyes filled with tears and a huge lump rose to my throat.

  i’ve never been good at just graciously accepting things. and after all, this was a BIG thing!
  i tried saying, that’s so thoughtful but really you don’t have to. i couldn’t let you…
  but she quickly stopped me and told me “no” wasn’t an option.
  they were either buying it, or i could pick it out!

  and something my mom has said to me a number of times in situations similar came to mind,

  “amber, just shut up and say thank you.”

  and so i did!

  and my heart pounded and i felt shaky from giddiness and just emotion.

  but. and this is the part of the gift i wanted to share the most..  my sweet friend with her hands still wrapped around mine spoke such kind and meaningful words straight to my soul. words of inspiration and encouragement. of belief and confidence and reassurance and ability and vision. and HOPE!

  and i stared at her through tear brimmed eyes and listened and i could feel the smile breaking out as i thought, “how like God. how so like Him. at just the right time. when we need it most whispering down our value through the instrument of a friend…”

  because unknown to shara i had been so struggling just that very week with feeling inadequate.  of doubting i was capable of doing anything. and thinking maybe i was too old or too late to try to start. to chase a dream. pursue a passion. that maybe i didn’t have an ounce of anything anyone else would see as talent, except maybe for my husband and my mom.

  yes, her generosity touched me. but her words moved me.
  moved me away from the negative pulling me down towards the courage drawing me up!
  i still think of what she said to me that day and feel a fresh burst of confidence when insecurities start to creep in~

  laughing, i told her later i felt like i’d been on the oprah show!!
  not only did i get a wonderful prize but i came away so pumped and just plain INSPIRED!!
  
  and i wanted to share the details with you! so i called her yesterday and said, “do you mind…”
  and her words were, “if you feel it would help someone else, then do. because these things have a way of being contagious!”

  and how right she is!

  on friday, i was talking with a girl from my church.
  a sweet university student that i’ve grown to love like a little sister.
  she shared about being nervous over a wedding she was having to shoot that weekend..
  and i went into full on “shara mode” on her! seeking to build her up and encourage her.

  last night, when she was telling me how the wedding went, she said,
  “your words really helped me. i just felt so filled up by them…”

  and how that made me smile.
  contagious? it had already started.
  words that had blessed and filled me were able to overflow into someone else’s life!

  our words leave behind a ripple effect that carries so much power! {both good and bad}
  and we can’t be afraid or awkward about it..
  who knows but that the words you would speak might be the very hope someone needs to keep living.
  to maybe keep keeping on. just one more day.

  especially as women. we’re so relational anyways, aren’t we?
  but our insecurities often silence us from being able to truly cheer the other one on.

  i know i for one am brushing off the ole pom pom’s and practicing a few cartwheels-
  getting ready to cheer even stronger for those women around me!!

  anybody else wanna join me?
  hey.. we could build one of those pyramid’s.
  bigger ones on bottom, skinny ones on top.

  well, time to go taxi home my little fairy!

  happy day everyone!
   
  

  amber.

  • 3:02 pm
  • 29 Comments