April 5, 2013
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{alot of easter pics and a little about hospitality}
seems i sat down on tuesday to post this and somehow it turned to friday!
we did have a nice long easter weekend though~
of taking walks. painting eggs. making cupcakes. watching Leave it to Beaver!
emma got to go skiing for the first time and she was thrilled.. shayne said she was a little natural.
we attended church on friday and sunday and was thrilled to see a good friend of kate’s get baptized.
her testimony was just so moving!
i was already crying.. but when i looked over and saw kate crying i cried harder!i think i cried through the whole service sunday actually!
easter and all it represents just leaves me undone.
i love singing and worship. but at easter..
it seems all i can do is stand with my hands up in praise, not able to really get any words out.yesterday when something was pulling me down i felt the reminder in my heart –
the same risen Lord you were praising on sunday is the same risen Lord today!!
all of of my struggles, fears, worries, the power of sin, He conquered when he rose again!
He’s already won the victory! there’s no need to fight and strive and feel i can never attain it..
it’s mine to claim because of what He’s done!
that’s the power of the cross. see the chains fall!!! AmeN.
sunday we had a house full. with easter dinner and a glow in the dark egg hunt!when everyone was leaving that night someone thanked me and said, “you’re so hospitable,”
i laughed. “oh, i’m really not!”and it’s true.
i’m not naturally bent that way.
i want to be.
i admire those who are.two years ago, on our first easter here, a family in the church invited us over for lunch…
saying they wanted to have families that didn’t have family close~i was so moved by that and have wanted to do the same. i’ve tried.
but it’s an effort. i spazz.
i get caught up on stupid things..
like, the curtain rod that’s hanging crooked in the living room and the christmas wreath that’s still on my door! what will they think if i have to wash the silverware between eating dinner and dessert because we don’t have enough? and i sure hope everyone knows we rent and this isn’t the color countertops i would typically choose!!and suddenly there’s just all these things that have GOT TO BE FIXED before i can truly be hospitable.
because of course, who could possibly be blessed if my pioneer woman strawberry sparkle cake turns out flat as a flitter, looking like the plastic plumbing ring you set your toilet on! {true story}
but guess what? i think they were blessed anyway. toilet ring looking cake and all.
that’s the thing i keep learning again and again every time i step out of my comfort zone and have people over.~ no one really cares about crooked curtain rods and christmas wreaths still up. if the dessert is a flop and your centerpiece looks weird.
hospitality is more of an attitude than an act.
kind of more what we are than even what we do. ~
because our homes don’t just display our decorating styles they display our spirits as well.i’ve been in homes that are gorgeous and everything in it’s perfect place…
and in homes where i was stepping over banana peels on the floor!!
and in both, i’ve felt completely at ease and comfortable.
not because of my surroundings but the people in them –
which typically seems to be the woman, since she’s the main one who sets the tone and atmosphere of her home.those are the kind of women who know the true art of hospitality.
who have this graciousness about them. a sense of welcome and acceptance. a calmness.
and a women whose heart is at rest makes those around her feel at rest too…
that’s the kind of hospitality i want. the kind i’m working on.
not the kind that might get it all looking so pinteresty but then have to run to my room to do a little zen or pray away the curse words floating in my head right as my company is about to walk through the door ~true hospitality is about blessing, not impressing.
and where i find myself right before the company comes -
in the bedroom or not
is usually a pretty good indicator where my motives are at.true hospitality is about getting my heart right, before my home.
and whether hospitality comes more naturally to some than others, i think it’s something we all can learn how to do better~
here’s some mental notes i’ve taken through the years from watching others much better at this than me..*focus on cleaning the parts of the house people are going to see – getting that marker off the bathroom door in your bedroom really won’t make a difference!
{i’m especially bad about this. getting side tracked so easily and spending time on things people aren’t even going to notice, then freaking, because hello! i forgot to set the chicken out to thaw!}
*buy a coffee maker – even the cheap 20 dollar black and decker one from wal-mart will do! everyone likes a coffee or tea after dessert.
*don’t start cleaning up till after guests leave – which might be obvious to most, but.. guilty!
{i may or may not have even been known to full on get the vacuum cleaner out while company was still here! i told you – i’m learning!}
*be prepared for kids – have a place for them to eat if everyone doesn’t fit around the table and also, reassure parents they are fine when they’re running wild around your grandmother’s heirloom vase. if you’re going to worry about the vase, put it away before they arrive!
*just be real – tell your guest the strawberry sparkle cake didn’t turn out! or the book page wallpaper is covering the ugly border since you rent. or that you crammed all the dirty laundry in your husband’s office.
*sit – don’t be up constantly doing things. have as much prepared beforehand and just relax and enjoy your company once they’re there!
*and lastly – don’t wait to be more hospitable until you have a bigger home or more money or more time or more silverware..
if we’re not hospitable with what we already have, we never will be. there’s more, but these are just a few~
what’s some things you’ve learned about being hospitable? i’d love to hear.{edit: scroll down in the comments and read what smilesbymiles had to say – such a good point to remember as well!}
ya know. usually without fail, the two things running through my mind as company leaves is-
WHY did i spazz?
and. i need to do this more often.reaching out and ministering to others is like that waterwheel effect…
it can’t help but come back and fill our hearts in return!****
more from our easter weekend::
and now i’m off to toronto for the home and garden show with a very cute blonde guy!
have a wonderful weekend friends!
He’s STILL risen. hallelujah.
))amber.~
Comments (48)
Your family portraits are amazing! I love the little girls outfits! Looks like a great Easter holiday!
our chalkboard messages are the same! Mine says: He is Risen Indeed, Hallelujah, Amen
I loved this part:
if we’re not hospitable with what we already have, we never will be.
and lastly – don’t wait to be more hospitable until you have a bigger home or more money or more time or more silverware..
so true, Amber. I love your flair around your house. You can just see YOU in it.
You are so insperational. The tips to being a better host was awesome. I have OCD so I tend to clean like crazy all the time. I am having people over tomorrow so I am excited to keep your advise in the back of my mind instead of focusing on silly things like a finger print on the coffee table. Your Easter looked very eventful and fun. You have a beautiful family.
i feel like i could write PAGES about the hospitality subject. i just loved this post! my sister and i LITERALLY had this same conversation yesterday. i loved your tips too and had to laugh so bad at this part:
“not the kind that might get it all looking so pinteresty but then have to run to my room to do a little zen or pray away the curse words floating in my head right as my company is about to walk through the door ~”
oh my! i would say that is my most natural bent!
what i am learning is that, instead of shutting down and “closing down the home” because of the little children i have– and how behind i ALWAYS feel (and missing out on so much connection and needing to relate) i have to just give what i CAN give. like if it’s a little give that. i have had so much pride and i didn’t want to host unless i could do it right. it’s pride. and i have to decide what i can give based on what my family can handle me giving too.
brene brown has a lot to say on subjects that i think tie into this. i feel like a whole new world is opening up listening to her research
oh how i would love to hash this in real life with you……….
Such beautiful pictures Amber! What a fun Easter! Love what you shared about hospitality!
I still remember the beautiful hospitality of other families/mothers from when I was a child.
Their kindness and not what we ate or how their house looked.
I still can’t believe how grown up looking your beautiful kiddos are getting.
Have a wonderful time at the Home and Garden show!
Good to see a post from you again. Looks like you had a pretty special Easter!
Yes, He is Risen indeed! I was saying to Bob, that it is so, so good that we have a yearly celebration of our Lord rising again, and reflect on his death and suffering too. I know we do this, in a smaller way, with communion, but I find my heart and spirit need this time of reflection and celebration! And it helps to see the earth celebrating too!
I loved your points and thoughts on hospitality. I have struggled too with having the house just right. It is easier as I get older (run out of energy), and see that the relationships are the important part. I have even had to shake my head at myself for enjoying the hair all over someones bathroom floor…because it made me see that it really didn’t matter!! It also helps that we have weekly Bible study, because sometimes you just throw you hands in the air and say…”this is the best I can do this week”
Your photos are a treat. My fav this time has to be Reece looking down at the egg. Too sweet!
I loved reading this post, too. I am actually very hospitable by nature, but have a terrible time getting things in order so I can have guests. Not the Pinteresty type of order you were talking about, but folks being able to get in the door type of order! So I am generally killing myself for days beforehand. I am intent on continuing to open our home, so I work on my bent toward chaos regularly. I tell folks all the time that if my house is clean it’s because I’ve had a GREAT time of VICTORY, not because it comes naturally to me in any way!!
I love the photos of your family – beautiful, precious ones! Are the pics of the big crowd of your Easter guests? Looks like a wonderful time. Your decor is beautiful and creative as always. Love you!!
I really enjoyed reading your post. So many good thoughts. And, your photography is beautiful. May I ask where you bought your girls’ pretty skirts. They are just what I’ve been looking for for my girls for a while now. Thanks.
Hospitality is about blessing, not impressing…..love this!
Delightful!
@aSeriesofFortunateEvents - haha! well i couldn’t read my chalkboard, “He is risen..” without mentally saying back, “He is risen indeed.” we need to get our chalkboards on a date – then the saying will be complete.
and now i’m chuckling to myself picturing two chalkboards sitting in the local starbucks. and u-huh, yeah.. it’s late. 
)
@Foodhog - i’m a bit ocd myself.. it’s hard letting the fingerprints go, i know! hope you have a wonderful time w/ your company! sit down, enjoy – and remember you can always windex tomorrow!
)
@baileyandme - i wish you WOULD write pages!! and you should do it here – a guest post?? i’d love to hear more of your thoughts… you’re one of the number one women i think of when i think of entertaining and that special knack for making things seem so effortless. and of course i’d love more of your thoughts just cause you’re so real.. the whole pride thing? YES. that’s it in a nutshell. the pride of wanting to impress. worrying what others might think. placing my self worth in “accomplishments.” just all that crap.. bleh!
@Cluesy - that’s the thing about pictures.. you don’t really realize how big the kids are getting until you see a picture of them and then you’re like, “oh my word! where’s my baby?”
love what you shared too about not remembering the food or homes as a kid but the kindness ~ i wanted to say more about that under the point about the kids.. that we don’t really think about the impression we’re leaving on them, but we are!
@ABAHM - had to laugh about you liking to see hair on someone else’s floor.. me too!! then, my ocd-ness promptly cleans it up for them!! hee hee.
)
@pettybunch - love you too and good to see you around again.. i’ve missed your words!
@deansgal - i found their skirts at a grocery store!!!
it’s a little shop called, Jo Fresh and they carry it in one of the higher end grocery stores up here. when i was in the states last though, i heard that j.c. penny is going to start carrying that brand.. so, there might be one coming to your area if you have a penny’s. they have the cutest clothes. kind of a gap/ h&m mixed type of style and super affordable – - i have to admit it’s soooo bad having a fun clothing store in your grocery store!!! it’s way tempting to slip stuff in and when shayne wonders why the bill seems higher than usual i tell him the price of milk went up significantly, just for that week!! 
)
Your pictures inspire me so! Your creativity is a delight! I had to learn the true meaning of hospitality, too. I am still learning! I remember when I used to sing with a band, we were invited to the pastor’s home for lunch after we had done a concert. We were served bologna sandwiches! But we were served this simple fare with such genuine love and joy that it didn’t matter what we ate! To myself, I thought, “I could never do that,” but as a pastor’s wife I have found myself often with unexpected guests just adding a little more water and a few cubes of bouillon to the soup, and throwing junk into the bedroom to tidy!
I have even stashed dirty dishes in the oven when people called to say they were stopping by in a few minutes. Mostly, I just have to deal with my pride, which is so funny, because no one expects perfection. No one even wants it! They just want to be loved, listened to and given some time. Years ago I read an excellent book by Karen Mains called Open Heart, Open Home. It taught me a lot about true hospitality. (You know it made quite an impression if I can still remember title and author after all these years! 
Blessings to you and your dear family.
Great tips and realizations to keep in mind; thank you! And the pictures are just beautiful; they truly do capture the essence of what you have graciously mentioned in this post.
Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. Luke 6:38
We’ve been learning that giving in any way has a lot to do with the heart – our attitude about the giving, the reason why we’re giving, etc. Yes, our attitude, spirit affects the atmosphere in the home. Your home looks perfect! Your children are beautiful and handsome 
Lots of kids in your home on Sunday huh??
I wouldn’t have a room separate for kids and all the noise they generate which makes me feel us adults can’t really converse in all that noise – maybe we’ll have to opt for a cookout and be outdoors, but once the deck is enclosed so we won’t be eaten alive by gnats and no-see-ums – yes, we have an abundance of these annoying bugs here in FL 
I have to admit, I’ve not wanted to open our home to certain people till we’re finished remodeling – The house is not at all like want it to be and I don’t want people to think the current 80′s flooring and cabinets or the paneling on walls or terrible dog odor in the carpet is my style – oh that fear of man!!
See, I’m making excuses why I couldn’t have people over 
I’d much rather come to your house anyway!!
Amen! To all of it.
I always love your pictures! Your family is beautiful and your talent at capturing them is amazing!
I have had to make myself remember all those things as well. I’m always picking my house apart, or myself, or my children…. But I have tried to work through it, painfully! And recently we’ve had people say they feel more comfortable in our home than anyone they know, and they love that their children are always welcome and allowed to be children! It’s in that moment when all the self-work is totally worth it!
Thanks for the reminder, He is still risen!!
Hospitality is one of those huge subjects I could just go on and on about. And I so agreed w/ you about the been somewhere w/ five start accomodations and been somewhere where I nearly slipped on the banana peels and it’s not about that. But, I think so many times that line gets touted to where it can almost make you feel like you CAN’T have stuff nice or people will think it wasn’t about them and that’s not true either! It’s not about just being sloppy so that people will know you value people more than work. You either care about people or you don’t. It’s pretty hard to fake. And if you love people, THEN it doesn’t matter if you just cleaned or if you didn’t or if you cooked a hugenormous meal or poured a glass of chocolate milk. I’d be thrilled to come to your house.
It always looks so pretty and inviting. And your pictures of the kiddos are just darling!
@DanishDoll - can i just say you’re one of the comments i look forward to most – i love hearing what you have to share, the stories from your life, your experience. i LEARN from your example and realness. thanks my sweet mae!
)
@wj3km - oh, i hear ya. the excuses about having ppl over.. and sometimes, yeah.. they’re legit!! but, if you feel God put it on your heart go for it!! and just tell ppl when you invite them – hey, we’re in process here w/ this house.
) outside stuff is great too. at our home in cincy we didn’t have much room – i’d put the food inside {free from the bugs etc} then everyone get a plate and go out. don’t they have those bug lights or stuff to spray around the parameter to keep bugs away for a few hours?? it’s the mosquito’s up here for us – but i’ve seen those things really work! and i’d love to have you here.. ANYTIME. come on up girlfriend, and bring some of that fl heat with you!:))
@smilesbymiles - yes yes and, OH YES!!! about what you shared. i actually sat here last night wanting to add in something about it’s not WRONG to have a nice home and things, or make a fancy meal for guests and set the table up all pretty~ instead i’m going to add an edit that tells ppl to scroll down here and read your comment!
) because it’s so true. and there does seem to be this “vogue” thing now with everyone wanting so desperately to be relatable and real that we feel we can never share the good or make things look together, ya know what i mean?? so thanks for bringing that out~
such lovely kiddo pics!
Enjoyed your post, and made a special note of michelle’s comment. i love the thoughts you all shared. i don’t think it’s wrong to have everything looking pretty and have things in perfect order, as long as it’s not overshadowing the important things. i don’t want to go to someone’s house and feel like my kids have to sit up on a shelf because (gasp) what if they act like a normal child. i do love pretty things, and i can enjoy them in someone else’s house as long as i don’t feel the pressure to reciprocate in kind. i am a simple, basic person, and i don’t have it in myself to have all kinds of beautiful decorations when i host. i think it’s neat when other people do- i just know it would take away all the fun of having people over if i tried to do the same!
in short, i would feel comfortable in your home with your pretty decor and flair, as long as i didn’t feel you stressed about it so much you can’t enjoy having me, and i hope you would feel comfortable and welcome in my home even though there might not be any lovely touches.
and we might eat cafeteria style (and on paper plates depending on the occasion) if there was more than about 8-10 people total. we all have different gifts, and if someone is good at setting a beautiful table like you and michelle are, that’s amazing!
loved the beautiful pictures!
“hospitality is more of an attitude than an act.” – I have oodles to learn on hospitality. I have not opened my home very much b/c I have a lot of excuses and insecurities. My biggest excuse is that my house is too small. We barely fit, so how can we have people over? God really convicted me on it. That people were more interested in the invite then the “food and entertainment” A few years ago, I gave that to my gift to Jesus under the tree, my home. I did a bit better, but it was still hard. This year I am doing better. My goal is to invite someone over for dinner at least once a month – other then family. It has been fun so far.
Gorgeous GORGEOUS pictures!! Seriously, this is some of the best I’ve seen of yours! The lighting is incredible!
And you throw THE most amazing parties! Your Easter party stuff was SO fun and SO pretty! I’d love to come to your house as a guest!
And hospitality is one area I feel like I am always learning in. Sometimes it goes well, other times I struggle!
Being in the little-kid-stage with lots of busy children and not much help has really made a difference in how much company we have.
We still love to, but it seems that we just can’t handle as much activity as we once could!
And yet I want my children to learn hospitality too, and they will learn it largely from ME! Yikes.
Loved this post!
xoxo
Okay. I’ve been gone for a long time and you should feel honored that you are the first person in Blogland I’ve responded to . . . And, the fact I’m the same age as your parent’s age … And the fact you need your self-esteem tweaked a bit . . . I haven’t read any of your responses to this post but from me:
* You are a gentle creature by the way you express yourself in your little projects (showing a mother with enormous patience, but one who spends time with her children).
* You are beautiful in the things you create like your Christmas themes, your Christmas cards, your adorable Easter ideas (showing your talent of bringing beauty and grace to others).
* You have a crazy-like, huge-like, *ENORMOUS* talent for making every place you live in (ah-hem, like all those rentals) gorgeous beyond any comparison (showing your family and every guest who walks into your home they are special, you care, and you want them to feel comfortable).
* Finally; your ability to take a moment that might be otherwise lost in time, except for your keen sense of photography talent and the click of a shutter (showing how your family and friends are the important part of your life and be being preserved in time).
Oh yeah! Those cute as the dickens clothes you find for your children on sale (and that includes your telling everyone about a great place having a sale)!
So don’t EVER worry about being good enough for others, especially about someone critiquing your home. You have made all of your readers feel comfortable and like we are friends (although few of us have ever met in person) and that’s because of your heart and NOT because of being good enough. You ARE good enough!
Love you so much and miss being on here like I used to be.
P.S. Is Foyston still correct?
Love, Cher’
@grace_to_be -
if i ever write it, i will submit it to you. that would be FUN.
I liked this post alot. Your little girls outfits are really cute! Glad you had a good easter.
One thing I have learned about hospitality is that often times the “impromptu” plans are the most fun…I don’t get soooo stressed out beforehand and i think your guests enjoy it all the same. I’m not good at doing impromptu – but I’m trying! xo
I have been here about 200 times! Finally had the time to finish reading.
I am guilty of the “cleaning while guests are over” thing. I’m working on it and I must say I have gotten better.
So much better that last time we had friends over, I didn’t clean up until the next morning! How about that?
Loved your post, and loved smilesbymiles comment. You are a very hospitable person, you even invited us to stay the night at the last minute! Remember?
and your house was beautiful..and I haven’t seen your new one, but I’m sure it’s just as gorgeous!
I love, love looking at your pictures. always have.
Happy Monday to you.
XxOo
I think that it is very cool that hospitality maybe doesn’t come the easiest to you, but you still do it!! Good for you! That houseful of people on Easter looks like so much fun! Loved the picture of the young people sitting around playing guitar.
I liked your hospitality tips. I have been known to get antsy about cleaning up before the guests are gone too, but I try to control myself. And I know what you mean about someone being calm as a hostess making everyone feel more relaxed.
Thanks for the info. on the skirts. Oh how I wish we’d have that store around here. I’ll keep checking JCP.
@richlyblest - amen and amen!! totally agree~ and i laughed at your comment about sitting your kids up on a shelf. i’ve been in homes where i’ve felt like the hostess wanted me to do that.
) and paper plates? clearly the BEST invention ever!!!
@zanyzeal - i hear ya. i have way more insecurities about my home than i think ppl realize – sometimes the best way for me to combat them is having others over and realizing once again, ppl really do give a flip.. it’s more about relationship and how i made them feel than whether or not they were impressed w. my home, meal, decor, silverware, etc.
) even though i get it.. it’s the very thing that trips me up everytime!
@lifeisadance - yes, seasons of life give us more freedom in certain areas. i think entertaining is certainly one of them – but i love that we can still have a hospitable spirit even when we can’t open our home. you’re someone that i have a feeling does that WELL. xo
@cherylyn_p - oh, my friend!! i have MISS MISSED you here! i was just thinking of you not long ago.. wondering about your health, how you are, how are the girls!! so glad you commented. your words are too sweet, thank you. xo and yes.. foyston is still right.
)
@Elizabethmarie_1 - well, you can spend the night here anytime too!
)
@appalolly - all the adults were sitting in the living room talking and i heard singing and playing coming from somewhere and went to find the teens all hanging in the other room having a little jam sesh.
) loved that they weren’t too embarrassed to let others hear them!
@baileyandme - I would LOVE to hear what you have to say and write about this! Growing up we entertained ALL THE TIME. Like, every weekend, at least once. When we were first married, the first year or so, we did the same thing. Now that I have three kids 5 and under, it’s just not happening nearly that often! And I often feel guilty, because I LOVE to entertain but 1) how do you do it without breaking the budget? and 2) how to do it without a lot of stress??
i love this post so much and my quick comment for now is… hospitality seems to kinda correlate with being with people, friendships. it’s sure not about how they look! the ones that become your friends… are the ones that c a r e o n and f o r you. something that you are very good at—caring on and for others. so i know you are a kind and welcoming hostess. even with the spazz moments that you say you have (don’t we all?!) :) xo
~don’t wait to be more hospitable until you have a bigger home or more money or more time or more silverware..
if we’re not hospitable with what we already have, we never will be. ~
yes SO true!
How is it SO easy to dismiss other’s mess when at their house but make excuses when it’s your own house?
There’s always excuses for everything from, it will be easier later, I don’t have time, etc. Just do it and in the end it seems like the hostess is blessed the most.
It seems as Christians we have so much to share and yet so many times keep it all to ourselves instead of sharing like the Christians in the first Church.
“True hospitality is about blessing, not impressing.” So very true and so easy for me to loose sight of! It’s so easy to let my insecurities stop me from doing the things God has asked me to do.
I always love seeing your beautiful photos and all the artistic touches you add to your house! And the children! They are so beautiful Amber (although children isn’t really an accurate description of Kate and Ben anymore!).
I’ve missed stopping by and saying “hi”. If only I would stop falling asleep the second I get the children in bed, then I might have more time to keep up with my friends