{monday life}

there’s a bottle of comet and a can of scrubbing bubbles that sat on my bathroom counter all weekend. 
i never touched it because i didn’t have time, but didn’t want to put it away just in case i did.

this morning, like most mornings, i woke with my running list of to-do’s scrolling through my mind before my eyes even opened..
cleaning bathrooms at the top. along with a dozen other things that just had to get done today!

instead. this stomach flu that won’t quite seem to fully leave had me back in bed..
and my 2 year old making a playground around me of books and dolls and toy pots and pans and plastic food.

i found myself irritated that the day wasn’t going as planned. nothing getting done.
i didn’t have time to be sick! what mom ever does?
or to sit around playing connect four with reese all day!
 
then i read this.

“the great thing if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one’s ‘own’ or ‘real’ life…
the truth is of course that what one calls interruptions are precisely one’s real life -
the life God is sending you day by day.” c.s. lewis

i felt conviction and comfort all at the same time. 

“the life GOD is sending…”

man! how i lose sight of that.
that, wait a minute.. there’s a whole other plan here besides mine.
and what? it’s not about getting it all done and crossing off every box on our endless to-do lists?

it’s about pouring into the eternal souls around us.
even if we do it laying flat on our back in bed, playing connect four.

and suddenly the irritating “interruptions” of my day become a little more plain for what they are –
His wise love forming me. changing me. giving me eyes beyond myself.

{friday loVe}

the school called and said emma was sick and needed me to come get her.
i threw reese in the van and headed straight over.
still new to all this public school stuff i wasn’t sure the proper procedure…

i went to the office.
the secretary wasn’t there. so i stood, waiting.

two boys, obviously serving detention at a table not far away looked curiously at us.
i got the feeling they wanted to ask me to bust them out!

after a few more minutes of awkward glances between us and the detention boys i decided to forget about the rule of not going anywhere in the school without a supervised person and grabbed reese’s hand and headed down the hall.

i rounded the corner to her class.
she was standing there. just outside the door. snow pants and coat on.
her hat pulled down to the top of her eyebrows.
a little bundle of padded up fluff. it made me smile.
she spotted me about then and smiled back.
but as soon as i was close enough i saw the big tears ready to fall in spite of the smile.

i dropped down on one knee and hugged her.
“oh, sweetie.. are you feeling so sick?”
sure that was the reason for the tears.

she shook her head and wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand.
saying quietly as her voice cracked over the words.
“no. i.. was.. j..just.. so.. g..lad.. to.. see.. you.”

and i hugged her tight and thought, this.. this is what makes it all worth it!

moments like this when you forget the frustration and exhaustion and messes and all those times of feeling you just can’t do it. and remember, all the reasons you do!

****

and here’s some fun questions for conversation…
how old were you when you had your first child?
and what’s the biggest thing that’s surprised you about motherhood?

going through some old pictures i found these from when emma was 3. some of my favorites.

wishing you a weekend of sweet mommy moments~

amber.

{trip to the city}


i’ll take one in each color please!

as his birthday present to me, shayne took me to the city on saturday for a little shopping and dinner!

i love the city. love everything about it.
the energy of it.
the wall to wall people.
the big buildings.
the taxi’s.
the diversity.
the fashion.
the trains.
the food.

so funny how shayne is just the opposite. the only thing about the city he likes is the architecture of the buildings.
the wall to wall people drive him nuts. and a shopping mall instantly makes him tired.
he joked and said he knew now why smart phones were created – for men waiting on their wives shopping.
but he was a sweetheart and so patient.
and i do like him with me to ask his opinion about outfits and laugh over the outrageousness of some of the stuff out there.

here’s some of my favorite places and views from the day.
wish i had gotten more of the two of us, but knew i better not push my luck…
city. shopping. AND pictures might just have pushed him over the edge. )

want this apron!


                    

my fav store right now. great styles and not overly expensive!

i really wanted some floral pants. i think they’re so cute..
but just couldn’t bring myself to get them.
i couldn’t get past the thought that maybe they look a little like wallpaper rolls on each leg!

what do you think – are you a fan of the new floral/ crazy print pants or no?

i want to do this on our bed..

the prettiness of pottery barn.

we were a little out of our price range in this store.. shoes for $850? who does that?

you know how there’s some stores where you try to not act shocked by the pricetag?
this wasn’t one of them. we were just full on gawking and pointing.
i don’t think i could have hid my surprise had i tried.  

the alarm actually went off when we left and shayne joked that he stole me a shoe.
i kept looking over my shoulder, positive one of those big burly guards they had standing by the doors was coming after us.

we had a clean getaway.



i did buy one of these bcbg inspiration bracelet..

and i chose this word. not because i am, but because i want to be!

twirling in the snow on top of a parking garage!

and on the way home i couldn’t believe my eyes when i saw this…

my happiest shopping place of all is almost here!!!! woot woot!

and that was our day in the city.
can tell shayne is a little tired. actually i think it was the flash. or maybe both!

what about you.. are you a city or country kind of person?
i must admit, as much as i love going for visits… my heart is all country!!

happy tuesday evening my lovelies.
here it’s chili for dinner then on to youth.

´¸.·¨) ¸.·¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ (¸.·¨¯`♥ amber

{friday loVe}

found this last night after uploading my pictures~

apparently kate was trying to get reese to wish me a happy birthday…
but obviously she was more interested in practicing her diva stance instead.

love this kid!

interpretation at the end:: “kate, let my see..”
and you might want to pause the playlist at the bottom of the page..
it’s not quite the right background music.

love the weekends too!
i have a birthday date in the city with my man.
so i’m e x c i t e d!!!!

hope you enjoy yours~

xo.

check out these other friday loVe’s – here. here. and here.

{birthdays. getting older. and a list of 39 for my 39th}

when i was at my parents house a few weeks ago, while i was getting ready in the bathroom one morning i found myself thinking of all the times through the years i had stood there, in that very spot, just like that.. 

thirteen, and leaning in close to examine the newest pimple. certain my life was over!
sixteen, applying make up and hoping dad wouldn’t say it was too much.
eighteen, checking my navy blue suit one last time before leaving to travel on a team with our home school organization…
{where i would end up meeting my husband.. but wouldn’t know that for years still to come – that he was husband!}
twenty, and staring in the mirror blinking back tears, regret over stupid choices and knowing i needed to go out and tell my parents some hard stuff.
then twenty two, my wedding morning!! standing there for hours curling every single strand of hair to pile high on my head.
and that same year, on a visit home, seeing a different image looking back. bloated. swollen. pregnant! 
and soon, little ones that could barely see over the countertop.
to now, my own teenage girl standing there next to me, getting ready, same as i always did.

and i shook my head inwardly at it all. the soberness and even humor of it striking me.
how when you’re young you just never really think ahead to this point in life. 
that there even is such a thing as 39, and 40? that was always my parents age.

it all seems rather forever away until days like that one when you find yourself standing in front of old childhood mirrors and see it lined up before you that way.

suddenly this realization of all these years. all this life that’s already passed. 

but i don’t talk about any of that with remorse. i’ve loved this life! it’s been good.
it doesn’t bother me at all to get older. it never really has.
oh, i don’t like the shifting body parts or deeper lines around the eyes.

my girlfriends and i will hold our faces back on the sides and say, “here’s what we used to look like!”

but i wouldn’t want to rewind the tape.
i wouldn’t want to go back to “looking like what i was.”
though more weathered and worn there is a contentment now..
a settling that has come only by the years passed through.

like this slow building calm that continues to grow the more i learn who i am, and more importantly, who i am IN CHRIST!

and so as the last door to my 30′s opens i want to walk through it with hope…
not dread or fear of the unknown. of more wrinkles. or getting older!
but with passion and abandon to whatever this new year holds.

i think of these words often, from a favorite hymn..
“His grace has led me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.”

yes. that’s it exactly.

amazing grace!

and may i never lose that amazement~
how an extraordinary God like Him could have such a great big heart for someone just.like.me!

“for He loves us with unfailing love, the Lord’s faithfulness endures forever.
He is my God and i will praise Him…” ps. 117

“the Lord is trustworthy in all He promises and faithful in all He does.” ps.145




a few nights ago i decided to sit down and write out 39 things to remember and seek to live in my 39th year~
some notes to myself if you will.
the list ended up being much longer than 39 but here’s some of the ones i pulled from it…

1. Be someone others like to be around
2. Take pictures – and lots!
3. Don’t just say, “love you.” Personalize it and add, “I.”
4. A little lipstick and mascara is always a good idea.
5. Not everyone is going to like you – it’s okay. Focus on the ones that do!  
6. Beauty really is as beauty does.
7. Be the loudest cheerleader your kids hear – trust me, others are cheering them on too.. and not always in the right direction.
8. Your mother in law is not out to get you. Make her your friend!
9. A content heart makes a happy home.
10. Be a girls girl. Embrace the women around you.
11. You’re going to get old. Do it with grace!
12. The best way to answer a critic is not at all – just live! Let your life do the speaking
13. Having STUFF does not make you happy!
14. Look for the good.
15. Most arguments aren’t worth it.
16. Make your husband glad to come home.
17. Don’t live life looking back – the past has brought you to today and made you who you are.
18. God’s Word is the worldview we need!
19. Let the applause you seek come from above you, not around you. 
20. If you think something good about someone, tell them!
21. There’s a story behind everyone. 
22. Don’t let diet and exercise control your life – eat that piece of cake. Occasionally, eat the whole thing!
23. Nothing on facebook is as important as the faces in your home.
24. Complaining never changes anything.
25. Be kinder than necessary.
26. Nothing can meet your needs like Jesus!  and nothing includes people.
27. Be able to laugh at yourself.
28. Sit down every night for dinner together- even if it’s just mac-n- cheese {again!} it’s the conversation the kids will remember, not the food!
29. Choosing not to forgive has consequences – many of them show up on your face!
30. Words are easy, actions are hard.
31. Make time for God – even if it’s in the bathroom.
32. Listen.
33. Let your kids know you’re happy to see them. {words, optional}
34. People are thinking about you far less then you think they are- pointless to worry over something that’s only speculation.
35. Be open about your insecurities – it’s what keeps us relatable.
36. Your kids need to know you love their dad
37. Don’t wait for your house to be perfect before having people over – if it’s perfect, they probably won’t want to come anyway.
38. God.is.enough.God.is.enough.God.is.enough.God.is.enough.God.is.enough. {memorize it!}  
39. Let others know they matter!

****

i wrote this early yesterday morning but never got a chance to get it up..
the day was so full from beginning to end.

i had really purposed to go into this birthday with no expectations..
expectations just end up robbing you of any joy you could have gotten regardless.
and i had to smile last night realizing it turned out to be one of the best!

shayne took all the kids to school and then reese out for the morning so i could have some alone time.
i love that. being in my house, just me. i mean, when does that ever happen really, right?
then i went to have lunch with what i thought was just two of my girlfriends..
turns out it was all of my girlfriends {minus one that went into labor and had a baby!} and a surprise party for me!

i’m not an easy person to surprise, so the fact that they did made it all even more exciting!
though i’m still not sure if i should be disturbed by the fact that i have friends that are such good liars!  
then it was home for a bit, hearing all about the kids school days.. them “secretly” trying to make my cards and get my gifts together.
and heading out for dinner at my favorite thai restaurant and then on to ben’s hockey game later that night.

i think my heart and stomach felt equally full yesterday!

so blessed and grateful for the people God has put in my life~

so bring on this last year of the 30′s. i’m ready to do it!!!

thanks to kate and ben for the pictures.
that’s the problem with having birthday photo shoots with your kids all these years..
the time comes when they reverse the role and say, “mom, your turn!”

very fun though and i’m sure someday i’ll laugh and sigh, same as i did that morning at mom’s, looking back years from now remembering my 39th.

and my grandkids.. they’ll probably just wonder why i wore those hideous yellow boots!

“His faithfulness never fails. it endures forever and is exceeding.” ps. 119

♥ amber.

{and how’s this done again?}

i smile to myself at her little legs dangling over the side of the toilet kicking happily.

i wonder if my kids know how clueless i so often am right along side them at all this parenting stuff.
from potty training to 2nd graders to teenage boys and teenage girls!

there’s that weariness that makes you think you’ve done it all for a thousand years.
but the inadequacy that reminds you, it’s all for the first time.
that really no matter how many times it’s always different because each child is!
so i learn and relearn, just as they are. again and again.

mom, i know you reassured me all those years ago with kate that no child ever went to their wedding day wearing a diaper…

well, i’m having my doubts!

the big girl pants.

the motivation.

the clueless mama.


the between potty break times.

the garland i worked on between the between times.

the love.

and the one who helps us keep our sanity in it all.

happy monday everybody!!!

♥ amber.

{friday loVe. post#2}

today is my dad’s 61st birthday..
so it seemed only fitting that the “something i love” photo be about him!

my wedding day. him quietly waiting behind the mass of people. so like him. always in the background.
i excused myself from who i was talking to and went over.  

it’s one of my favorite pictures of us together.
not because of what it looks like.
but because of what he was saying.
i remember the moment like it was yesterday

“sis, i am so very proud of you…” his voice cracked as he said it. he was trying not to cry.
{we had a bet between us about crying that day. and i think in the end we both lost}

but it was something i had heard him say so often. and still do. 
something, that no matter how many times i hear it, still means the world.
and something that’s taught me the importance of making sure my kids are hearing it from me!  

dad. thanks for the example you’ve been.

you didn’t just tell me how to live.
you simply lived, and let me watch you do it.

thanks for being the kind of man i wanted to marry.
for giving me the right definition of love.

and thanks for the safety too. that always stands out in my mind as well.
from when i was little and you prayed away the boogie man…
to when i was grown and you accepted me no matter what!

so grateful.

missing you today.

happy, happy birthday!

****

and speaking of weddings. let’s hear about YOURS!

what year were you married and where?
and bonus question:: were you happy with your wedding, or wish to go back and have a do over?

hope you all have a GREAT weekend.~
the kids have a snow day today so i see cupcake making and some movie watching in my near future!!!

xo.

p.s. if you do a friday love post let us know in the comments so we can all come over and share in the LOVE. )

don’t you just love the word love!! i don’t think you can overuse it.
love love love love loooooooooooooove!!!! )

or smiley faces. they’re impossible to overuse also!!
oh, and exclamation points! those too!!!!! )))

amber.

{a little house cleaning}

i had a wonderful time with my family last week. just reese and i {and my girlfriend summer who’s family is also from cincinnati}..
quite the adventure. so fun!

i missed shayne and the other kids terribly.
and for the first time since i can’t remember didn’t really cry when i hugged my parents goodbye..
the excitement of getting back here, back to us being our own little family unit again. complete.
well, that thought outweighed the sadness of leaving.

got to see an old friend i hadn’t seen in 13 yrs. make memories with a new one. and be with my very best one of all!

then came monday.
 
and with it the reality of mom to four again. wife. dirty house!!
bless their hearts they had tried to clean it for me. i know they did…
but why does no one notice those crumbs that stick to your feet around the kitchen table?
or the dried pee on the floor around the toilet, like mom does?

so i dove in. determined to get everything back in order. back to functioning smoothly..
back to peeless/ crumbless floors!

thing is. fixing surfacy things doesn’t always fix the attitudes of the heart.
and they affect the home way more! 

pretty soon all those sweet sentiments just days before of “can’t wait to be home” were completely forgotten.
as was how quickly freshly scrubbed floors become filthy again with the first snack someone eats or hurried potty break! 
and speaking of eating! was it really dinner again so soon?
hadn’t we just eaten.. like yesterday! but still.

and the kids. they certainly hadn’t learned to be more patient with each other while i was gone.
and shayne.. well, his mind reading skills hadn’t improved any either.
and then of course. doesn’t your period always come at like the best time, never!!
and suddenly you’re weepy and snappy and everything is even more magnified by those crazy stupid hormones.
and oh my word, someone PLEASE send me an email every night telling me to wash my face!
why do i ever think sleeping in my make up is a good idea?

so. i find myself standing in front of the mirror this morning.
flecks of mascara sprinkled all around my puffy eyes.
looking every bit the mess i feel.
what’s worse.. the mess i am in my heart~

and i feel my shoulders slump inside. that tug of defeat grabbing at my heart…
frustration at myself for once again allowing my selfishness to dictate my behavior. the mood of my home.

and i’m reminded of how i need so much more than just a good eye cream.
man! i need a renewed heart saturated in His truth.
because whatever my heart is filled up with is what is going to come out!

far more than a clean house and nice meals and everything running on schedule,
what my kids need most from me {and husband too} is a mom & wife whose yes, often overwhelmed heart knows how to cling to the Rock that is higher than i. 

having a home that’s in order has it’s place. but having a heart in order is far more important!
somehow i feel if i ever get that last part right the other will come as well.

and i don’t know about you. but usually when i’ve had a glimpse of my true reflection there’s the temptation to camp out there awhile..
groveling a bit in the discouragement of the slow learner that i am.
~but that’s exactly where satan likes us to be! to keep us.
to have us live our lives defeated. reminding us of our failures. convincing us we’ll never change.

but the Lord sings a different song over us! and oh, if you could hear me right now i’d shout it..
a WHOLE DIFFERENT SONG ENTIRELY MY FRIEND!!!
of redemption and forgiveness and new beginnings.
of a victory already won. and the kind of grace that’s big enough to cover it all. all!
our inadequacies. our weakness. our mistakes. our short tempers. our pms. our selfishness. our ugliest of uglies..
 
clothed in His righteousness and set free by His mercy!! 

i’d be lying to say i really understand all that. that i can truly wrap my brain around it.
except this – - He accepts me just as i am but loves me too much to leave me that way.

and so He holds up the mirror. again and again.
showing me what it looks like to be transformed to His image.
and i continue to learn.. if yes, ever so slowly.

amber.

{hello february}

i thought with valentines day coming up it would be fun to post some sort of “loVe picture” every friday for the month~

wanna join?

all you have to do is take a picture each week of something you love then post it on friday!
easy peasy like strawberry pie.

aNd.. i might occasionally ask some random question about love for you to answer as well.

like this one:: where did you and your spouse first met?
and bonus question – do you remember what they were wearing?

haPpy super bowl weekend friends!!
i’ve no idea who’s playing.. i’m really just there for the food!

♥ amber.