June 17, 2013

• {to my kids}
  
  i wrote this driving home from the store today.
  on a sunday school paper of reese’s i found buried in my purse. an old grocery list down one side.
  my thoughts swirled and my gratefulness overflowed and i just scribbled away as i went from stop light to stop light…
  
  
  
  

  to my kids-

  you don’t really know it yet. not really. the incredible dad you have in this man.
  you see it some. just not in full. we never really do when we’re kids.

  i smiled at your notes. reading how you adore him. the pride you have.
  every child feels that of their dad, i think.
  the light that sets off in their eyes that this.. this is my dad!
  i’m grateful i still see that light in you.
  some dads quench it out so early. not even knowing. not even aware.

  having a dad that’s aware is a gift! 
  
  

  you wrote how you wanted to be like him when you grow up.
  i’m glad. i don’t mind one bit. i hope you do and i hope you are. more like him than me.

  but someday. someday you’ll know more what it’s meant to have a dad like this.

  when you’re gone from home. from here. when you leave us.
  when his words will ring over in your mind and you’ll want to remember…
  try to remember. what did dad say?

  girls. you’ll know a good guy when you see him.
  one that will cherish and honor you.
  you’ll know what that looks like. you’ve seen it here.

  a guy that knows the strength of being a servant.
  a guy that has self control and not consumed with himself.
  a guy that sees your heart not just your body.
  a guy that puts your needs ahead of his own.

  yes, you’ll recognize a guy like that easy.
  you’ll say, “he reminds me of dad.”

  
  
  

  ben. you’ll know how to be that guy.
  what it means to value a woman. to show her worth!
  to be tender with her weakness and respectful of her equality.
  to act with integrity and always be a gentle man.
  you’ll know how to treat her because you’ve seen how your dad treats me.

  you’ll know what a dad you had when someday you’re getting up while it’s still dark to go to work.
  whether sitting at a desk or working in the blistering heat.
  when you feel the weight of financial pressure closing in.
  the responsibility of providing…
  the fact that a dad’s provision goes way beyond his mere physical work.

  and on those days, when it all bears down and at times feels too much.
  suddenly, in one of those moments you’re going to realize…
  this is what my dad did for me every single day.

  

  and at some point. someday. when you’re all older and grown up you’re going to stop and think back.
  think how you never knew… never knew the burdens perhaps he carried. never knew the heaviness of his heart.
  because always, he walked through that door each night with a smile. you all running to meet him.
  and tanned and tired and sometimes discouraged. and yet you would never know. because for you he was always strong.

  when maybe other dads would go for their paper or t.v. when they would want to be alone and not bothered.
  he would stand there by that swingset pushing you a hundred more times.
  and, “just one more under doggy please daddy.”

  he would listen to your tales of the day and play dutch blitz and help with homework.
  later slipping into each of your rooms and kneeling beside your bed, praying with you.
  hugging and kissing you goodnight. telling you he loves you.

  do you know some kids have never heard their dad tell them they love them?

  
  

  
  
  
  
  

  you’ll know what a dad you had someday when you have kids of your own and suddenly all dad said will make total sense!
  you’ll get the rules and boundaries and say, “thank you God that i had a dad that cared.”

  and someday if you live far away and wish he were near.
  you’ll hold on to all these things even more.
  his words. his wisdom. his affirmation. his time. his laughter. his hugs.

  
  
  
  
  

  and in those hard times of life. when nothing makes sense and you feel you can’t make it through..
  you’ll find yourself holding onto something far greater than what any earthly father can give you-
  the hope of your Heavenly One.
  and you’ll know He can be trusted and relied on not only because you were told that
  but because you saw it lived.

  yes, someday… someday you’ll know {even} more what it’s meant to have a dad like this.

  

  love, mom

  • 4:06 pm
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