{move over martha and a giveaway of sorts}

yesterday, in Emma's science we were studying entomology.

yes. I didn't know what that was either.
until yesterday.

it's the study of insects.
and of course, entomology just sounds way more professional than sayin plain old, we're looking at bugs!

at the end of the lesson it suggested you make your own insect from materials you could find around your house.
emma wanted a spider.

so. I got the brilliant idea of using a toilet paper roll for the body.
and then, what better to make perfect bugged out eyes with than. marshmallows!

when we saw our finished product we both laughed till our sides hurt.

I thought it might look better if it weren't stuffed with the tissue paper...

uh. it didn't!!!

{for the giveaway:: caption this shot}

it just goes to prove two things.
1st grade science projects really aren't as easy as they sound.
and. sometimes messing up the 1st grade science project makes for a better memory than getting it right!

****
the giveaway::
a 10$ giftcard to starbucks or bath and body works~
awarded to the person who comes up with the best caption for the unstuffed spider shot above!

giveaway will run through monday.
we'll vote on it as a family and announce the winner tuesday~

remember, the majority of those voting are under the age of 14
so nothing is too silly!

****

"mom. you are not a dood spider maker!" - emma.

{that kid has a knack for stating the obvious}

happy weekend y'all!!!

´¸.·¨) ¸.·¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ (¸.·¨¯`♥ amber

{or alternative title choice - the party you won't be pinning} ha.

When I asked Shayne last week what he wanted for his birthday, he said..
"for you not to spend any money!"

now you have to understand two things to know why this is hard for me...

one. birthdays were always celebrated big time in my family.
after all, it's the day you entered this world, and that's pretty monumental!
and second. gift giving happens to be my love language.
{and i should add a third.. that i just happen to like spending money}

So how would he know I loved him on his birthday if I couldn't BUY anything??
and how could we celebrate big time without spending a dime??

on Saturday, I was at the bike shop with Ben, waiting while he got his tire fixed on his bmx.
A new mountain bike was something Shayne had been talking about recently.
As I walked around looking at them, I began conjuring up a plan in my head...

And I could just picture the look on his face.
well, yes. shock at first {man! but those things are expensive}
but once he got over that I was sure he would forgive me and the shocked expression would turn to glee!

But as I stood there spinning the wheel of that sleek, beautiful black bike hanging overhead on the rack..
{i know nothing about bikes, so i judge purely on looks!} 
I suddenly saw how that if I were to buy this for Shayne it wouldn't really be for him!
it would actually be more about me - me wanting to feel good that I had made his birthday special..
and in the way I thought was special.
some big elaborate gift.

and driving home. bikeless. it struck me how often my "love" can be nothing more than a mask of my own selfishness.

genuine love is loving from inside the other person's shoes. which means being willing to step out of my own.

I still wanted Shayne's birthday to be special.
and presents or not, we were going to have us a paRty!!

so that night I set out shopping my house, since no party decor had been purchased-
looking for things that could make the table festive and fun.

There were some wooden blocks with numbers.
but since they had every number on them but seven, I couldn't do the year he was born!
so. I did the next best year of his life - the year we got married.




and then a old black and white of our honeymoon.
some leftover tulle from the tulle puff thingy's in the girls room.
an oversized letter S.
a few pillows put on the chairs, because pillows make everything look better.
and just some other random pictures of all of us together.
old family photos seem to always make for some funny conversation.
something to the effect of -

"oh, this was the year we near froze to death standing in the middle of that cornfield..
with 70 mile per hour winds blasting in our face!"
"this is when we nearly got eaten by that dog at the park... or was it a goose?"
"and this is when my leggings were too small and were cutting off my circulation."
"ugg. this is when mom made me wear that ugly shirt i hated."

But, no doubt someday my kids will have a whole new appreciation for family pictures.
and I have a feeling it'll probably happen right about the time their first is old enough to say..

I share all this because I learned a valuable lesson in the process.
{or rather was reminded really, because i forget so easily}

it was really bothering me to not be able to buy things or have them look how I wanted for Shayne's birthday.
and it forced me to do a double take on why I do what I do.
was it really about others? or me?

are the things I do motivated from a heart of love, or finding value and worth for myself?
is it about truly blessing, or seeking to impress?
if no one were going to know about it outside my family, would I put in as much time and attention?
if there weren't things like blogs and pinterest and facebook... would that change what I "do" for others?
some of the answers I heard back sobered me.

Nothing wrong with buying gifts and making things fancy and pretty and nice..
God created beauty and He wants us to enjoy it and share it.
trust me. I will always love me a good martha stewart worthy party~

****

happy birthday babe.
thanks for helping me learn more everyday, what true love is all about!

other editions of ShOp tHe hOusE here. here. and here.

{eavesdrop on eternity}

ever feel that life is like being in the middle of a novel...
nothing makes any sense. the plot seems confusing.
and you just wish you could flip ahead to know the outcome?

i read the following this afternoon and wow, did i need the reminder.
and i thought perhaps, maybe, i wasn't the only one.

Lost in the Middle by Paul David Tripp, excerpts from chapter 11.

"We don't need to read mystery novels; our own lives are mysteries enough... and we find ourselves wanting to get to the last chapter first so that we will know where this whole things going.

We tend to think that if only we had known the last chapter first, we would have dealt a lot better with what was on our plate. We carry around questions about what will happen, and at various points in our lives we all struggle to accept the actual outcome.

But what most Christians fail to understand is that God HAS let us in on the last chapter...
the Bible has the end all laid out for us.

And He invites us to eavesdrop on eternity and then to look back on our lives with the unique perspective that only eternity can give us.

God's story only makes sense from the vantage point of eternity.
and our lives will only make sense when we view it from that perspective.

Those of us who feel lost in the middle of our own stories need more than a lecture on how we should be thankful. We need more than an exhortation to get up once more and follow the Lord by faith. We need more than practical insight on the typical things that people struggle with. We need more than just compassion and encouragement.

What we need is the big picture.

We need to be able to see the issues of life in the context of the sure-to-come realities of eternity.

We get so blinded by our successes and failures. We get distracted by the dramas of the moment. Our ability to think clearly gets clouded by powerful emotions and powerful desires. We become proud and paralyzed by our own legacy. And even if all these things were not true, our vision would be unreliable for the simple fact that we are finite human beings and, therefore, only capable of seeing one slice of life at a time.

Eternity, however, gives us the wide angle view.
Eternity has the power to dispel our confusion and clarify our values.

Do you want to know what's really important?
eavesdrop on eternity.
Do you want to evaluate the life investments you've made?
eavesdrop on eternity.
Do you want to construct a life that really fits with what God is doing?
eavesdrop on eternity.

Eternity is the compass that orients every aspect of a Christian's lifestyle.

In eternity, many of the things that seem to matter so much don't matter anymore. The size and luxury of your house doesn't matter anymore. Your physical strength or beauty doesn't matter anymore. Family vacations, cars, clothes, and bank accounts do not matter anymore.

Redemption is what matters.

God is going to wipe away your final tear.
and in the cool shadows of the Lord's tent you will rest forever.

If all that you are facing now didn't have a then, then nothing you do, no matter how successful or comfortable, would be worth anything anyway. God lets you look into then, so that as you face the trials of now you will have hope that is stronger than your disappointments, encouragement that overwhelms your regret, and a dream to motivate you that is better than any dream you could have conjured up for yourself."

take some time to eavesdrop on eternity.

{stepping into a new week}



her new favorite pastime.

how bout you..
are you a glam heels.
casual flats.
fun sandals.
or just a pair of boots kind of girl??

from the pictures you would think i was all about the heels. but not really.
i'm probably more a fun sandals and boots kind of girl.
but i'm a sucker for a pretty shoe - so hence all the heels!

haPpy monday my friends!

may this week find your steps..
{whatever kind of shoes you happen to be wearing}
graced with patience. courage.
and, lots of opportunities to just sit back and smile.

´¸.·¨) ¸.·¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ (¸.·¨¯`♥ amber

{from a daughters heart}

and so often. with thoughts of you, follow this thought..
simply. thank you.

for allowing me to be me.
for the acceptance I've always felt.
even if it meant different views than you.
I've never felt your love was conditional.
thank you.

for not trying to hold on to me.
to control my life.
but letting me go.
and long before I ever moved 800 miles away.

I've often envisioned these chords that cross from your heart to mine. holding them together.
and that even without seeing me.. somehow, you just know when something is wrong.

as if when my heart bends beneath the weight of life, that chord grows tighter. you feel the pull.

I know this now. I have my own mother chords that pull and tug at my heart.

thank you for teaching me that mothering is a long beautiful process of peeling away..
of learning to release.
holding just enough that security is felt.
but loose enough that freedom is felt.
 
thank you for making home a place I always want to come to.

for creating a home not of designer style, but comfort and warmth.
not a place to impress.but truly bless.
thank you for being content with what you have.
when you could have had more, you gave.
when you could have bought bigger, you saw no need.
and when you could have taken vacations and spa days and time to yourself..
you bought clothes for the grandkids and help pay the rent checks for struggling newlyweds!
thank you.

for loving my dad how you have for 42 years.
for standing by him so faithfully.
and by standing by, I don't mean merely because you said a few legally binding words.
standing by because you want to.
that there is where you find your greatest joy.

thank you for showing me the happy side of marriage.
for believing and praying and inspiring all your kids to have the same.

thank you for never speaking a negative word about my dad.
for not just building him up privately, in our home. but publicly.
for serving along side of him for 35 years in ministry.

serving, not because being a pastor's wife was your choice, your first love.
but because dad was. 

you've shown me the power as wives we have to build up, or tear down. 
and not just as wives. as mothers, sisters, daughters, friends.

thank you being a woman's woman.
not caught up in competition or comparison,
but free to cheer and encourage those around you.

thank you for reminding me this journey is easier if we live as encouragers!

that as women, we have the potential to BRING LIFE to others.
to birth hope and breathe comfort.
to not be silent, allowing our fears or insecurities, our shyness to hold us back.
but opening our mouths and being vocal. allowing our words to strengthen. not destroy! 

thank you for being vocal with your encouragement.

I smiled as shayne told me the other day his favorite memory of you.
when we were dating and had called things off for a time. no contact for 3 months.
but how you snuck and called him, because you just had to know how he was okay.

he said it was your call. your kindness and thoughtfulness, that lifted him from a dark time.

thank you for being such a great mother in law.
for knowing boundaries. for honoring us as our own family unit.
for reminding me of respect and why I fell in love with this man to begin with,
in times I've forgotten.

thank you for always listening.
for being my first real best friend.  
and now, and only the older I get, do I realize just how much, my truest!

thank you for showing me that life is so much bigger.
our purpose so much deeper.

thank you for growing old gracefully.
for accepting the wrinkles and laughing at the slower pace.
for being stylish but appropriate.
for not being ashamed to be known as a grandma!

thank you for not being a grumpy old lady.

for laughing at yourself.
for finding joy in simple things.

thank you for helping me embrace motherhood.
to not be afraid of making mistakes.
for reminding me that grace is greater and forgiveness a healer.
to give hugs often. and tight. to say, I love you.
and not just merely with words. but with my face.
to be careful of what my expressions, my attitudes, are communicating to my kids.

thank you for showing me it's not about trying so hard to get it all perfect.
but loving hard, and clinging to the only one perfect!

thank you for telling me that time with my kids is far more important than time anywhere else.
that the computer is a time stealer, and someday, I might regret the exchange.
thank you for speaking truth in a way I hear it. in a way that never makes me feel condemned.

thank you for reminding me you didn't have blogs and pinterest when we as kids were growing up.
that there weren't alot of fancy creations and themed birthday parties.
no homemade kites from pillow cases and sandwiches shaped like boats!
but we had fun.

we laughed. and talked. and read books.
you let me stand next to you and put the flour in the cookies.
I never took dance lessons, but the hours you would watch me twirl.
I never played on any organized sports teams, but the time spent playing games!

I don't look back at childhood with one ounce of regret, or feeling somehow I missed out.
I don't remember alot of what we did, to be honest. I just remember we were together. 

and I remember your hands often smelled like onions when you tucked me in at night.

thank you for reminding me it's things like tucking my kids in that they'll probably remember most.

thank you for being our mom.
for never trying to mother like someone else said you should.
but for mothering your way. in the best way you could.

thank you for making me feel that mothering was always one of your favorite things to do.

thank you for being the kind of mom I could write a letter like this to.
I hope someday my kids will write a similar letter to me.

happy birthday mom.
i love you.


amber.

{family when family's not there}

for those of you further down the journey than me I wonder..
does that ever go away? the longing to return "home?"

And sure, there's different seasons of life where pursuing relationships might be easier than others.
the day will come when kids are older. no longer needing me to drive them all over the place.
I might even stop wearing sweatpants and fixing mac and cheese for dinner.

But I'm realizing too I can't wait until I feel everything is calmer. that I'm more put together. or I have more time..
because I'm pretty sure if I keep waiting, I'll just be dead. it'll never happen.
and I'll have missed out on so much that could have enriched my life through what others have to offer.

I know that no one can fill the place where only God fits in our hearts.
but I also know God puts us in these places.
places of loneliness. of needing relationships. connection. community..
so that ultimately, in it all, we better discover HIM in ways we couldn't have otherwise.

it's like a full circle thing.
the more we realize He's all we need..
the conclusion isn't that we stop reaching out. 
no. the conclusion should be we reach out more than ever!

"the sooner we quit pretending and start admitting we’re all imperfect and in need of grace...
this is the beginning of real community."

just grateful this weekend..
and again writing this out. going over it again in my heart, for the community around me here.
for the family when family's not there.


*****   

at a friends house for lunch, after Good Friday services.

a favorite. I've had a hidden stash on top of the fridge for weeks.

sunday morning after church. in the parking lot!

some of the friends that joined us for easter.


resurrection rolls.

my friend Jo told me about these.
you roll a marshmallow in a crescent roll..
I let the kids each roll one up so they could see what would happen.
once the rolls bake, the marshmallow disappears - symbolizing the empty tomb!!

I thought it was a cute idea. the kids liked it. and they're also super yummy to eat.

and just the kids.
 

the big ones.

the little ones.

the little ones laughing at the big ones.

and all of them.

caught this of the little girls that morning.

halfway through Reese stood up and started dancing!
shaking her little leg back and forth.

I think she knew Easter was something to dance about!

`♥ amber

{celebrating this}

a LIVELY HOPE!

how i love the sound of that.

happy resurrection weekend my friends!

{the little girls room}

I finally finished up the little girl's room this week.
although "finished" is never really a word I associate with decorating...
because to me, it's always a work in process.

Shayne use to joke, "I learned early on in our marriage to look twice before sitting down..
because you never knew when that chair you were always sitting in, would suddenly be on the other side of the room!!"

the little girls room is next to Kate's upstairs.
it's the estrogen corner of the house!
even I like hanging out there.

their room used to be mostly neutrals, like Kate's.
but lately we've been adding some pops of color.

I'm liking it.
it seems to suit both their personalities more.
bright and spunky!

I really wanted some white and green chinese lanterns to go over Emma's bed..
but the cheapest I could ever find were 12 bucks at Ikea. and only in white.

and since 40 bucks on chinese lanterns wasn't really in the budget for the month -
unless we didn't eat for a week, and I'm sure my kids would rather food, than pretty lanterns..
I remembered when I was home last, in the states, I walked past a Bath and Body Works.
they had these tulle puffs, or whatever you call them, hanging from the ceiling.

so I headed to michael's and bought a thing of tulle for 7 bucks instead.

I still think chinese lanterns would look cuter.
and I was already figuring how I could spray paint the white ones I found!
and in the meantime I found this site with every chinese lantern in the world. and cheap too!
 
but for now. puffy tulle balls it is!

the room has kinda evolved into a outdoorsy/ garden kind of theme~
a tree in the corner. picket fence. mailboxes. and lots of nature that usually Emma's brought in..

Reese is still in the crib. that certainly looks better in pictures on a blog than in real life!
it's taken alot of wear through the years.

I think she's been the hardest on it yet...
pushing out a couple spindles with her feet. teething on it. breaking the front on one side.
not to mention, the few poop smearing episodes!! haha. oh, dear. :/

I'm not much of a seamstress at all...
I thought making a crib skirt though, from an old curtain, could be simple enough.
well, let's just say it's basically cut up and tucked in!!

and yes, I know. you can totally tell.

I wanted a canopy of sorts over the crib and first saw the idea of a lace doily banner in a Flea Market Style magazine last fall, or sometime.

the how-to here

funny how something that's been lying around our grandmother's homes for years,
suddenly becomes so popular!

slowly, I began my collection.
buying one or two here or there at the thrift store, when I could find them.
finally, one afternoon, in another town, I found the mother load of all doilies, in an old antique barn!!

I like the soft, feminine touch it adds.

Emma's bed was mine growing up.
my mom gave it to us when we moved here..

I think it's been every color in the world. but I sanded it down and just did white.

our little Ikea purchase last week. this light.
I let Emma pick between two.. she chose this one.

she likes jumping off her bed and seeing if she can touch it.

a little shelf with a mirror where Emma likes to "get ready."
some empty frames.
a little birdhouse my mom gave me.
some old hats. a purse I've had forever.
and a card that says, "the more you laugh, the better you live," from my brother.

I just decided after seeing these pics I don't like those green flowers sticking out of that cork board!

they will not be there tomorrow~

amen.

last night, after putting Reese to bed, she woke up and I went in to soothe her...
I noticed across the room her reflection in the mirror.
my camera was right outside the door on the hall table, so I grabbed it.

I'm glad I did. it's my favorite shot in this post!

and just because I like talking about this kind of stuff...

´¸.·¨) ¸.·¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ (¸.·¨¯`♥ amber

{i'm glad she was born}

just hung up the phone a bit ago with my grandma...
today is her 79th birthday.

i've talked about her here alot through the years.
i like talking about her!
she's one of my heroes.
someone i've always looked up to, admired. aimed to be like.
someone i seek advice from. and know when i ask her to pray, stand back.. that woman will pray!
she's faithful.

she fascinates me. with her strong kentucky drawl. and raspy deep voice.
the stories and wisdom. the lifetime of things she's seen. experienced.
it's like watching a real live character in a book..
a book you don't want to put down.

we talked for almost 2 hours.
like we always do. just so much to say.
laughing alot. crying a little.

 
and as i listen. all throughout the conversation i can't help but to think of how her life started.
not planned by her mother. from a scandalous affair.
in a day when it was shamed to be born out of wedlock..
raised by her grandparents. the stigma. the whispers.
in that generation. that era. in the hills of Kentucky.

and yet...

yet. imagine if she was never born!!
if someone had chosen my grandmother's life wasn't worth it!
that she wasn't important enough. valuable enough.

and the words of my dear cindy friend echo in my head from this past week - 
how as Christians we can fight so passionately for the unborn. with such conviction.
we herald the value of life. everyone precious in God's eyes.
but do we carry that belief to all life! to adults as well as the unborn?
that.every. single. person. is. precious. matters. holds value. and has purpose.

i hope i grow up to resemble her in even the smallest way.~

 picking grandma's peonies.   flowers remind me so much of her~ her yard is always filled !

happy 79th dear precious grams!

´¸.·¨) ¸.·¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ (¸.·¨¯`♥ amber