i had pretty much made up my mind to move to blogger, 
i thought the first of the year would be a good start.
now. i’m chickening out as i pack my bags.

so i decided to just sit down and talk about it here with you..
and i was going to say as my readers.. but really, that’s not what this blog is about-
as my friends. because you are.

when i first started blogging i had to be all technical about it.
like, these are my real life friends, these are my online friends.
but phooey on technicalities. let’s all just be friends!! 
because though we don’t see each other often and some never even met…
when you do a bit of life together, and this bit of life on the computer screen counts –
hey, we’re friends!

and of course there’s different levels of friendship. but a friendship just the same.

i’ve been moved to tears so often by your encouragement.

God was genius when He created relationships. just so cool!
and i’m always left in awe at the thought no one ever enters our life by chance..
there’s a purpose for them being there.
i truly believe that~

so. thank you, friends. for showing up in this little square to share in my life and cheer me on!! ~

but i think there’s also an aspect in recognizing those things we love to do. feel inspired to do..
whether writing or taking pictures or designing or cooking or growing things or music or encouraging others,
GOD is the one who has put those things in us.
those interests and abilities and dare i say it, gifts?

why do we have such a hard time accepting our strengths?
we can talk all day about our weaknesses…
but when someone mentions something we’re good it, we blush and stammer about and think there’s godliness or something in downplaying it.

not that we should walk around like we’re all that.
no. i wouldn’t want to be your friend if you did, nor you mine.
but there is that whole other side that we often don’t talk about.
the fact that maybe.. just maybe God has put something in you and it’s up to you to follow that.
to see where it might lead. to work on making something happen.

i’ve been so encouraged in the past by some of emily freeman’s post over at chatting at the sky about writing a book~
she shared how that a publishing company didn’t come to her. she went to them!
she went after her dream. and now.. she’s working on her third book.

same with the nester. she wrote that she attended a blogging conference and came home and told her husband -
i’m going to be more intentional about my blog.
and because of that she’s helped pay off nearly 140 thousand dollars of their debt!

it was really her story that made me sit up and rethink some of this.
pay off debt? hello!!!!!  

and i know people always say, “well, we have to pray and ask God what His will is,” etc etc…. 
but sometimes i wonder if we don’t over complicate His will by sitting around waiting on all these   signs and feelings.
i mean, anyone follow that with me?

i’m far from any authority on it, but i think “God’s will” is for us to glorify Him – in whatever we do!
but as far as specifics… He’s already put many of those things within us.

He’s already equipped us!

and… just another quick thought, sometimes i feel we lose sight of the fact that God WANTS us to enjoy life?
not that that means things will be easy. or we’ll spend our winters in jamaica! you know what i’m saying.
but there is a joy that comes when we do what we love. what God has put within us to do!

hopefully that makes sense.
and most of all, hopefully this whole thing doesn’t come across like i think i’m the next great blogger.
stand back ladies!!!
haha. not at all.

just processing my decision outloud here..
concluding that i think i’d rather take a risk and try something new then to look back and feel i never did!

and that’s just not with blogging. but so many other things in life as well~

and as i kinda talk myself into being more courageous, i hope you grab hold of it too!
for us all to not be afraid to walk through whatever door is in front of us right now.
whatever it looks like.
whether huge – like moving to canada!! or small, like moving to another blog host!!

so. maybe once i sort out things like transferring archives and putting up headers and getting the new spot fixed all up, you’ll come visit me?

or better yet. wanna just pack up and come too???

it’s like going to college. you’d feel so much better if you already knew your roommates!

it’s like high school on steroids.
the pettiness and comparison. the insecurity and trying to impress.
endless views and opinions and arguments!
and yes!  there’s always that group of “mean girls!”

whoever named it the world wide web seemed to know what they were talking about.
it’s an easy place to get sucked in and tangled up~
especially for us as women, because we can be so emotionally driven.

with anything that seems to involve people comes vulnerability. the risk of being hurt.
and criticism drives us to self reflect. to hopefully grow.

woman complain about blogs they don’t like.
pinterest leaving them overwhelmed.
facebook wasting their time.
but is it really that complicated?
if something doesn’t feel healthy.. don’t go there!
click the x and walk away.

but we don’t have to allow these things to control us!
to become such huge distractions.

sometimes i wonder if part of the remedy might be simply moving our focus from the faces online to the faces right around us! 
putting our time into the needs within our community! our church.

remember the chick-fil-a uproar?
facebook became the battleground of political views and who could post the most spiritual sounding status.
imagine if we as christians put as much energy over feeding the poor as we did into arguing over a chicken restaurant?
we might actually get something done!

as a mom trying to raise kids in such a social media crazed world i feel an even stronger call to attention.
the responsibility of guiding them right and with wisdom through it all.
being so aware that more is caught than taught..
and what we allow in moderation in our own lives, our kids will do in excess!
{excess- the state of exceeding what is normal or sufficient} -webster’s.
sound familiar?

and there’s a challenge before me, even urgency within, to keep this place in the perspective it belongs. 
it’s a great tool. a connection.
but when it starts feeling unhealthy, it’s simple..
don’t go there!

i look back on 2012 and funny, i don’t really see any of the individual trials that seemed so important at the time..
but instead, i see this one great big covering of something wonderful~
i think it’s called GRACE. and i love how it falls over my life.

i’m sure everyone is saying it, but it really does seem just yesterday i was putting down our memories of christmas 2011.
it’s hard to believe it’s been a year. so soon. already?
and i always remind myself of my grandmother because she used to tell me the older you get,
the faster time goes.

apparently, i’m getting older!

we got home from the states on monday. driving all day, getting in around nine that night.
we unloaded the van and headed to a friend’s house for new year’s.
someone asked if we weren’t tired. of course. but i can’t imagine new year’s without a party..
and it seemed the perfect way to jump back in here.
when we surround ourselves with people, we don’t have time to engage in self pity.
my friends have helped ease the ache of homesickness which i was already feeling tightening down around my heart.

and yes. once again as i look back, i see His blanket of grace covering it all.

that’s why as i think of this new year i feel for the first time there’s less fear and more hope!
because maybe, just a little bit, i’m finally getting it after all these years. i can rest in His faithfulness.
and that is where my joy is found. not in my circumstances but the comfort that He’s in control.

even when it doesn’t seem like it. when i don’t feel like it.
there is never a time He stops thinking of me. working in my life.
every piece.. every thing that happens is part of something so much bigger.
it’s not our story He’s telling. it’s His!

we were made for His glory.

and i love something my mom shared when i was home..
that one of the ways we bring Him glory most is when He is recognizable in our lives.
when we can identify Him IN us and when other’s can identify Him THROUGH us!

that’s what life is about. not all these other things we get so easily side tracked with, but simply..
to recognize God in every part and to make Him recognizable to others.

we can make an invisible God visible to those around us!

and it’s not by having it all together. or pretending to.
it’s about coming to Him in all my neediness. again and again.
realizing no pain is ever wasted. no part too broken.
no mistake out of His reach. and no area too dark.
He takes me as i am. mess and all.

it’s the kind of beauty only He can bring.

as He takes our our injured flesh and wraps it around Himself, giving us life.
and not just any life – life ABUNDANT! filled up. overflowing. complete.

to me, that’s really the message of christmas.
that when i needed Him most..He came.

and He never stops coming…
pursuing us. saving us. redeeming us. working in us. loving us.
meeting us where we need Him most.
at exactly where we are. just as we are.

and because of that, we have a future. we have a HOPE!

*****

december was just packed with all kinds of wonderful..
and my heart feels content with the fullness of memories

here’s a bunch of pictures from some of our times~
 
there were plays and school performances and a special night in the city with my man.
there were parties and tons of games. lots of eating. and laughing till we cried.
there were walks with arms linked together with those i love most..
and sitting up late talking till the wee hours of the morning.
there were movies and cuddling under blankets. warm fires and hot tea.
there was shopping and singing at the top of our lungs…
drives in our pj’s to see the christmas lights and caroling to random strangers.
there was silliness and seriousness and surprises.
of trying so hard to catch every single little detail. to want to soak it up. drink it in. to not forget.

but really, the main thing, being reminded over and over that the very best things, aren’t things at all!!

i struggle with it alot at the holidays because i have this vision in my mind of how it’s all supposed to go down~
and to me it seems so simple.
like, there’s absolutely no reason in the world why it shouldn’t all go according to plan.
 
i just forget minor details- like the fact there’s only so much time in each day.
and energy. and money. and kids that don’t always have Elf like attitudes..
“smiling is my favorite.”

i think all of us as women know we can’t do it all!
but that doesn’t keep us from trying.
or comparing to those women who seem to.

trust me, if there’s someone who looks like she is, there’s something slipping-
even if it’s just her sanity! {raises hand}

like the other night when we had a party and several commented on how my house always seems so neat and tidy..
i laughed and told them to look in the van on the way out –
that’s where they’d find the dirty dishes i didn’t have time to wash.
or go check the storage room downstairs to see the baskets of laundry.
that’s how i clean when company comes… shove it all where it can’t be seen..

so be cautious what closet door you open when you come to visit!

in the end, i doubt my kids will remember how clean the house was.
or the year we didn’t send christmas cards.
or make cookies from scratch.
or have a gingerbread house that stood up for longer than 5 seconds.

they’ll remember me.
what kind of attitude i had. 
and if i crush their spirit because i’m cranky i can’t get the bow to look just right on top of a present..
or the kitchen is a mess..
or i need to make/glue/cut/tie/address one more christmas card..
what the heck does it matter if i get it all done and miss the very thing i should be doing most!

so.. i’m learning to be okay to let some things go.
and make sure what slips isn’t the something i’ll someday regret.

i sat up late sunday night trying to put my thoughts here about what happened last friday.
fear for my own kids gripped me and i dreaded monday morning.
but no matter what i wrote, it all seemed so empty. so shallow. selfish.
atleast i still had my second grader to drive to school. to kiss goodbye.
to hug and smile and say i love you more than once because yes, don’t we all take a little more time for that now.

i guess if i could tell you anything it would be just this..
your pain is not lost on us.
women like me. women all over. fellow moms.
it is more than just another news story. another tragedy.
any one of us could be standing where you are.
we are all affected.
we are all changed.

and so we move a little slower through our days.
hold our kids a little tighter.
react a little stronger to the superficial nothings that suck us in.
look around our broken world with a new soberness.
and see with different eyes, a bit more clearly, what matters in life.

i wish there were answers for such senselessness.
such unnecessary loss.

i don’t pretend to understand why the story often unfolds as it does.
but i do know what the final chapter holds~

and there will come a day when Light triumphs over darkness.
when wrongs are made right.
when wounds are forever healed. and no more tears will fall.

when mother’s arms are filled once again with the precious little ones they have missed and ached for.

i know i speak for many when i say, we love you connecticut moms.
you are in our prayers and we will not forget.

this was the side you saw…

this was the side you didn’t…

remember mama’s, everything’s not what it appears online.
it’s only PART of the picture!!!

happy 2nd to last weekend before christmas.
now.. i’ve got some laundry to fold!

xo.

but whether behind and trying to catch up.
or racing and trying to keep it.
the main thing i’m trying is, “let’s do this part slow.”

some of the in between parts though have had us getting our craft on round here~ 

one of my favorite things to use are plain ole sticks!
a little spray paint and ta-da.. you have a decoration.

which i stopped just now and counted up in my mind how many places in the house i have sticks and branches as decor..
i came up with nine! ten if you count the ones in the pots of greenery on either side of the front door outside.
and eleven if you count the little pieces of some on the back of the upstairs toilet!
ha. as i said. they’re favorites!

when my girlfriends and i went into the forest {as they call it here} to get some greenery..
we found some great branches too.
with some of the extras i bunched them all up. hung them upside down and put some snowflakes in.
nothing mind blowingly creative…
there was a version of something like this on pinterest my sis in law told me about, but i could never find the pic~
just makes for a nice little filler of something in the corner.

i wanted to do a popcicle snowflake and maybe glue some on..
but we didn’t have any popcicle sticks.
so i just took one of the snowflakes i did have..
like the pack of 4 you buy from the dollar store and we blinged it up, button style!

back in the summer i found this light at a garage sale.
the lady was asking 8, i told her i’d give her 5. sold!
i had been looking for a light for my bedroom and it wasn’t exactly what i wanted.
BUT. one thing was the reason i bought it…

only, a few weeks ago i decided i’d rather replace the hideous green ceiling fan {that matched the hideous green counter tops} over the kitchen table instead~
i’m happy with the results…
though anything is an improvement over a 1970′s marbled green ceiling fan!!

what have you been working on this week?
if there’s a fun project or great recipe post it in the comments if you want to share…
or invite us over to your blog to have a look!
we’ll swing by and say, hi. so go get your hair combed!.

inspiration is like christmas lights .. there’s no such thing as too much!!! ~