times when I think I've got the calm, cool mom thing down. and times I feel like such a spazzed out dork.

times when I'm amazed at how natural it all comes.
and times. it completely blows my mind at how hard.

hard to love? never.
hard to always know how to love. yes.
love as an emotion is easy.
love as an action, not so much.

there are times I get it.
and times I completely flub.
times when correction is needed and I'm about to open my mouth with something wise and loving and spiritual,
when they open theirs with a bad attitude.
and at those times what comes out at the time is, well...
nothing like the wise and loving and spiritual thing I'd planned.  

that's usually the times I wonder where on earth these obvious needs in my kid's hearts are coming from~
and usually about the time I look in the mirror, and.. and know exactly where! 

"making a decision to have a child-it's momentous.
it is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." ~elizabeth stone

even on the best of days. when I feel I'm maybe getting it halfway "right"-
that still doesn't guarantee my kids will respond how I want them to. that they'll "turn out."
I can train and guide and direct, and I should..
but in the end, it is still, and always, their choice.

it's not up to me to "produce" godly, outstanding children.
it's up to me to live surrendered and obedient to Christ.

if my kids want a relationship with Him, I think it will be more because they saw it lived~
and not just heard it talked about or enforced in rules and so called "standards."

How I long to have contagious like faith.

----------

I wasn't planning on making this public when I first wrote it late last night.
but as my mother's heart cracked and fell to pieces at His feet,
I felt His song of love sweeping over my weariness, filling me with hope as I cried, and prayed, and then typed here~
yes. amen!! He is mighty to save!

and on those days we feel that we just can't do it - as we're going to do, and often, along this parenting journey..
it's okay. because as The Ultimate Parent, He understands.
He is tender. and kind. and patient. and unconditional.
Showering down fresh mercies every single day and paving every single step with His grace.

And this time, I feel very twenty FIRST century, thank you very much!

apparently, as a commenter pointed out last post-
I had a temporary brain lapse on what century I'm living in~
saying,  "I feel very 20th century..."

I must have been listening to 80's music beforehand.
cause that'll do that time warp thing to your head every time!

it's a bit of a dance show in itself watching people leap. jump. sashay their way through the little puddles...
trying to avoid that dreaded wet sock.

I think I'm going to just become a true Canadian and take slippers with me everywhere!  

It really is more of a Canadian custom, than in the states, for people to remove their shoes.
Even when people just stop in for a minute and I'm, "don't worry w/ taking your shoes off..."
They still do. I think it's really perceived as rude here not to.

magical.

Shayne keeps suggesting me starting a business.
which makes me react on two levels -
one. it seems every stay at home mom in north america starts a photography business.
{just because I own a fancy camera doesn't mean I know what I'm doing!}
and. I'm not really confident to CHARGE people for my work.

for now. I might just make up a little flyer and pass out to our neighborhood here.
see what comes of it....

??not sure which or what. I hate to send it away to Canon..
last time I did it was gone nearly 2 months! {long story. but short version -  they lost it!}

What about those of you out there who know camera's better than me..
{don't be bashful.. you know who you are!}
Any suggestions or ideas?? Anyone had this happen to them??  

and not the cheap, it get's twisted before you can even tear it off kind from the dollar store -
no. the nice extra wide kind with purple plaid that they say is "designed specially for wrapping!"

I tried that yellow tacky stuff teachers use to hang things in the classroom..
but it just bulged out and was totally visible through the thin paper.
and since I wasn't sure if I was going to like it/ keep it up,
I didn't want to use any kind of glue or something more permanent ...

so. for now it's held up by plain old tape!

I wonder if I were to decide to keep it up more permanently what it would be like to use a modge podge over it all??
Though I guess that would give it a more stiff look~
and I kinda like the more natural look of the looser pages.

Any ides of what else to use to hold it up??

{I guess I could have titled this post, "Where I ask for your opinion alot...}
 
Speaking of modge podge here's a fun idea I'm going to give a try~
isn't that great!!

you probably thought it was going to be laugh..
no. that was a just a cool sunset the other night I was trying to catch through that word in the window!
though laughing more, in any year, is always a good idea!!

Welp. hope you all have a terrific weekend.
they say Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year..
but I really think that title belongs to weekends!!!   {do i hear an amen?}

I was going to make a border of sorts from the pages, just wide enough to cover the other..
but as I began working on it, it went a bit further than that.

"What book is that?"

As if I read this really great book, then decided to enshrine it on my walls!
I honestly didn't know what the title was! it was just something I picked up at the thrift store for that purpose ~
but after being asked often enough I dug the discarded cover from the garbage -
so. for the record, it's "The' King's Cavalier."
and from the parts I've read as I hung it.. it seems fairly interesting.

If you'd like to read it you're welcome to come sit on my steps.
I'll even provide you with a glass of iced tea!!

There was some language throughout.. but I tried to hang those pages high!
Didn't want the kiddos blurting out colorful choice words as they wandered up the steps,
randomly reading aloud - as they now do that the staircase is plastered with a book!

Again, not sure if I'm really sold on them -
I'm starting to feel there's maybe tree overkill in my house...
like it wouldn't surprise me to see a bird flying round in here before too long, from a nest it's made in one of the branches!
 
I have some other thoughts for a "border" across the top, but for now. this is it.

"I'll take that sink. and that light fixture. and one of THOSE dishwashers!!"

but I'm reminded nearly every day as I look around at tree branches and ripped books hiding unwanted wallpaper and ugly countertops, that if I'm not content with what I already have I'll never be content with what I think I want. because contentment isn't really about my circumstances as much as where I choose to focus in those circumstances~   

but now that my chai tea latte is gone though, I think I'll go check out the books!

ARe you reading any good ones right now..
any you'd rather be using as wallpaper. ha!!

I just started Hunger Games and I'm hooked!

I put the greenery down the mantle and wonder, "will it be this same mantle next year?"
And with every brush against the tree, hearing another 500 and something needles fall to the floor, I tell myself..
"next year it's artificial all the way, baby!"

then again. it's weird....
there's this sense way deep down inside of feeling grateful for what we've been through.
and that strikes me funny even as I write it because grateful isn't the word of choice that
was on the forefront of my mind while in the midst of those things~

There was kicking and screaming and not caring what the right way was.
Blind by my pride. consumed with self pity.
Of being angry and disillusioned over who God was..
of feeling that our obedience had led us only to more pain.

What does true surrender looks like when your marriage is falling apart?
and what shape does trust take when your job is lost and bills are piling up?
 
And so began the most intense battle of my life over whether God was truly who He said He was~ which isn't that what every struggle really boils down to?
from the beginning of time when Satan tried to make Eve doubt God's word...
isn't that his plan of attack still?
Can God really be trusted?

It's the object of where we choose to put our trust that determines our level of joy
and lasting freedom from the chains that bind us.

Now. now as I think back over it all. here as this year winds to a close...
I can't say it was in some great jubilant victory, or any kind of extraordinary faith, that my heart finally found rest.
but simply. that in all my struggling. HE KEPT ME.
when everything inside wanted to turn and run as fast as I could in the other direction..
when I wanted to quit and give up and stop trying...
when reading my Bible was like chewing dry toast, and I couldn't swallow it down.
when praying was only, "dear father.." then silence and tears.
when I didn't know what to pray, how to pray.
There was something {Someone} beyond my own strength holding it all together.
holding me.

He never stops being God. whether I believe Him or not.
His mercy never stops raining. His grace never stops to giving. and His love..
His love just never stops loving.

and I keep thinking how this. this is the real message of Christmas~
a God that never stops coming after me!
from that first night so long ago as a little baby humbly entering this world.
to now, every day of my life, a Sovereign Lord and victorious Saviour.
Glorious Intruder that heals and redeems and restores!

And with His coming peace!
the peace we all seek and want and desire became possible -
because Peace was now a Person! and only in Him do we find it.

and the simple beauty of it all is..
because He came - I can now come to Him!
because He came. there is HOPE. always hope.

My family arrived last night and I'm so excited about this week ahead~
there are people everywhere and I feel a contented sigh at the coziness of a full house.

may the wonder of it strike you in a fresh way.
and as you reflect over what He's done in your life this past year, may you trace His hand in it all.

with much love~

So I pretended to talk to Emma to avoid that eye contact of permeating guilt for not contributing.

I really do love my firemen. and policemen. and all the other public service workers that serve us every day. just not enough to stop on a freezing cold afternoon with two little girls in tow to dig out a few bucks. sorry guys.

I have remembered a time or two to get money out before I left my car, that way it was ready in hand. But on this particular day, uh-uh... I wasn't quite that organized

Once inside I headed for the carts and found there were only three left, pushed as far back to the end as they could possibly go and apparently inseparable, from the poor 20 something year old battling to get one loose.

Her face was a mixture of exasperation and anger, stopping now and then to look embarrassingly around at who was watching.

I immediately felt sorry for her and jumped in to help. After all, this was one of my few areas of expertise - unlocking carts! I mastered it a few years back at another Wal-Mart when a kind old greeter man showed me the trick to getting them unstuck. 

You see, the key is in lifting up the front "gate" part of the cart.. the part that lifts to allow the carts to connect. When these get jammed, no amount of yanking and pulling will get it loosened. You just have to reach in, lift up that front gate, then pull back! I really think they need someone officially doing that. Next to the greeter guy stands the cart loosening person!

Anyways. once her cart was free she was off and gone. Leaving me there with baby, emma, and my purse falling halfway down my arm, like, "thanks for returning the favor there, Barbie!" :/ So I began the one handed attempt of getting my cart free from the others.

Finally, I had to set Reese down. Instructing Emma to hold her hand tight. But just as I pulled the cart loose, Reese broke from Emma and darted under the bars around the cart corral and headed.. well, she didn't care where, just as long as she was free from big sis and independent. Teetering back and forth on her still sometimes unsteady legs, dwarfed by everyone around her.

I threw my purse in the cart to "claim" it. Maybe not the smartest thing. Then straddled my way out between the bars and grabbed Reese, who was just disappearing into the assortment of women's sweaters hanging to the ground from the crammed too close together racks...

With her squirming in protest I went back through the bars. Belted her quickly in, to which now her protest turned to loud tearful sobs, grabbed Emma's hand, and backed out of the cart area where 4 people stood waiting for the 2 lone carts of, I think, the entire store! I shot a supporting glance of, "I hope you win" to another mom with little kids in line for the carts, then began the careful maneuvering around the displays of boxed perfumes and candy canes, wondering why every single Wal-Mart in the world seems to own carts that squeak and have some kind of wonky front wheel thing going on. what's with that?

We headed straight back for the Christmas light aisle... what I was there for. And so much for my theory that it was a big store and people would be spread out! Apparently every person in Barrie needed Christmas lights that day and had all decided to come in at the exact same time, now congregated together on that particular aisle!

I "excuse me. pardon me. can i just squeeze right by ya?" my way down through to get to the tiny spot of open space left. Looking up and down each shelf carefully for the boxes of white lights, which obviously aren't as popular as the dozens of muti-colored ones. Once located I opened them to see what kind of white it happened to be.. learning from my previous purchase a few days earlier, that apparently now there are "cool white" and "warm white" lights available. who knew?

For the record cool white looks almost blue. I prefer warm.

Reese was still whining and fighting with her seat belt. I knew she was overly tired from missing her morning nap and I was glad I had thought to throw her pacifier in my purse. Usually it's only for bedtime, but being the experienced mom I am {aka times of desperation} I've learned that when we're going to be gone for most of the day - have the pacifier handy!

Once the pacy was in her mouth she quieted down.

I finally found the lights I needed and started the process of working my way back through the wall to wall people to get out. At the end of the aisle two things happened almost simultaneously - Emma stood up from where she was sitting in the back of the cart and announced she had to pee, and Reese let out the hugest sneeze that sent snot flying down to her upper lip... her pacifier projectiled straight forward, rickashaying off my chest, then bouncing on the floor, rolling on it's side between and around multiple shoes as if by a remote control. and finally. hooking a sharp right and disappearing beneath the shelves.

I stood for a minute and looked back and forth between Reese and Emma. Then, first things first..  I made Emma sit down and told her to hold it. then dug out a wadded up napkin in my purse from somewhere or another and wiped Reese's nose. She looked up at me with a questioning, "uh?" as she held her hand in the direction her pacy had rolled.

"I know, baby. I know.." I said. "I'll try to find it."

"I fink it's under dat bwack man's foot," Emma exclaimed a little too loudly as she pointed towards the man a few feet away. Followed by an equally loud, "I fink my pee is tuming out!"

To which I pushed her finger down and whispered, "don't point dear. and ... and don't hold your potty area like that, please."  

I stood a bit longer wondering what was best to do.
My first instinct was to leave the pacifier.

But you have to understand... this isn't just any normal pacy.
it's the one we got on our very first night in the hospital! 
Reese and it have history together!
and believe me, if there was ever a pacifier with a story, this one is it.
I don't even want to tell you the places we've found that thing, looked for that thing...
try the largest mall in Toronto, carefully and methodically retracing our steps around that place!
but we found it.
 
We've tried other pacifiers. Prettier pacifiers. But she wants nothing to do with them.
We even bought the exact same one, in pink. But, no. it had to be green!

So call me crazy, but there's some sentimental value wrapped in that little green thing.
Not to mention, I kinda like my sleep and wasn't feeling in the mood right at that moment to take on the whole "you're a big girl now. bye bye pacy" fight.

Slowly I backed down the aisle to where I thought I had seen it go under... stopping and bending, hoping to see it right on the edge. No such luck! I raced through different scenarios in my mind of how I was going to find out where exactly this pacifier had went to.. but upon the next, "I fink my pee is tuming out," from Emma I knew there wasn't going to be any graceful, or less obvious way of doing this.

I let out a sigh. Shrugged slightly. and turned to the lady behind me, "Excuse me please," I said as I stepped back and went down on my hands and knees, pressing my cheek nearly against the floor to be able to see completely underneath the shelves.

there. almost perfectly in the middle lay the pacy. 

I climbed back up. got the thinnest box of Christmas lights I could find, then down again on all fours. Squinting one eye for aim, I shot the box underneath with careful precision, sending the pacifier flying out the other side.

You know how when you've done something dorky and know people are watching, there's that split second you get that sudden urge to just take it even further and really freak them out? I had that as I contemplated raising my hands and saying before I stood up...

"and help me dear Jesus in finding all the very best bargains today!!"

but I refrained. and climbed up brushing off my hands and pushing my hair behind my shoulders.

I thought of giving an explanation to those around. Especially the scared looking grandma lady behind me, but instead, just smiled and walked away to go fetch the pacy on the other side.

it wasn't the first time I've been on my knees for one of my kids..
and I'm sure it won't be the last!    

I think the real moral of the story is stick to fingers, not pacy's. They're less humiliating.
and the second would probably be something about those Wal-Mart carts!
Like maybe it's time for the corporation to invest in some new ones, world wide??
just sayin~

****

"hurry up, baby. come on..."

she skipped a step or two trying to catch up while taking a bite of her chocolate bar.
then saying with mouth full, " are we wait for sum fing?"

"are we late for something?" I repeated, making sure I had the proper interpretation.

I glanced back as I asked, and saw her nod her head yes.

"no. we're not late for anything. why?"

"betause you're walking weally fast."

I started to say, no I'm not, when kate interjected-

"mom just always walks fast... like she's late for something."

I looked at her with wrinkled forehead.

"no. I don't... do I?"

my dad came in at one point and I stopped and laughed to him,

"ya know. even when there's no need to hurry, I still am.
it's like I don't know how to operate any other way... "

"I think it's part of being a mom," he answered.

and yeah. I'm sure it is. Leisure time isn't exactly always high on the priority list, right.

But. I don't want to be that hurried, frazzled, always walking too fast mama! I want to be the calm, relaxed one.
and I don't just mean the forced phony smile covering a heart that's screaming and stressed inside -
I mean a heart that though every other person around me is screaming and everything seems nothing but stress, there.is.peace.

like the kind that passes understand peace! 

Because, come on! The house has got to get done and look all festive and pretty so we can hurry up and start making wonderful holiday memories so that someday the kids will look back with all these warm fuzzies over all our magical Norman Rockwell moments!!

But, kinda ironic that in the midst of trying to create "happy moments" I can end up doing the exact opposite~

those are some of the obvious, easier choices.

But sometimes you have to be willing to make the harder ones too..
ones others might not understand, and maybe your own kids won't even like.
but for the sake of your family, and everyone's sanity, it's what is needed.

that's where we're at.. since the kids started school, just feeling everyone is a bit scattered and spread out and what's left is not a whole lot of time for just us. our own little family.

I'm all for the kids being involved in sports and such. I love them having friends and spending time with them~ but how quickly do those things become the god in their lives? There's such a delicate balance between letting them go, but also knowing when to rope them in.

We're still learning that balance..   

and I get it in my kids because I'm the same.
I rush and hurry and spazz and live frazzled because I want to do everything..
it's tough to give in and turn loose. to keep priorities in check. and the important, important!

*edit~ {wasting time}. ever write something and come back days later and read it and cringe here and there as you do? that was me tonight. this was the kind of post that would have been a better conversation over a few diet cokes! so i tweaked it up a bit. hopefully sounding less harsh, more written for me, since that's really who I meant it to, and less vain - like about that skinny body at the end.. i think it came out the opposite way of what i actually meant! ha. oh dear! :/ and the title.. yeah, even the title bugged me!  

*****

wow! two weeks seemed to have passed just.like.that.
and I didn't really mean to go this long without posting..
it just sorta happened.

I literally feel there hasn't been time. or atleast extra time like it takes for blogging.
because no matter how fast you can throw up a post, it still takes time...
and usually time away from something else.
Which I don't necessarily care about letting those things slide when I do,
after all, there's always something that needs done, right!

Lately though, I find myself wondering how much of what I let "slide" when I sit down here to browse or write or read or pin or like or friend is really letting someTHING slide, or is there someONE that's being neglected in the process? {and i don't just mean those within my own house}

and it's not like some deep soul searching analysis thing...
more like a quiet nagging of sorts within my own heart.
Just something personal for me to work through and settle, I'm sure.
it seems writing always helps with that process.

Maybe they'll be things you identify with too, or maybe you'll think I'm a dingbat!
Whichever. this is just some things I've been wondering and sorting through~ 

Last week when I was home with my family for Thanksgiving, out of.. and I started to say "honor," but that's not really the right word because she didn't ask me, or even say anything about it. And I'm not even sure she noticed much, but just a little something for my mom I tried to do while home... not use any time I could have with my family as time on the computer.




You see, my mom's kinda funny about this thing called the internet. -
something about it competing with real life relationships, even taking the place of.
that everyone's world has now become their computers and phones.
and the younger generation is losing the essence of what true communication is.

And facebook? don't even let her get started on that!!

"Do people honestly think anyone cares what they ate for breakfast!!"

ha! my dear mama.

Usually when she's on one of her crusades about it all, those of us within ear shot will laugh, and jokingly roll our eyes just a bit... {of course, we're the ones with the accounts!}

but then again... there's a part of me inside that hears the truth there.

Maybe it was because I was being intentional about staying off the computer while at mom and dad's.. but it seemed I intentional noticed as well how much time I had in exchange with my family and friends~ it really was one of the best visits ever. more jammed pack with activities and just some plain super great conversation. {of depth and not just fluff}



Like the night I sat up and talked to my Dad for over two hours!
Not that I don't ever talk to my Dad, but yeah..
it was probably a time I'd usually be on the computer.
and to think I might have missed that!

When I got home this week, I wasn't really planning on keeping up with my no computer if it could be family/people around me time, but the theme sorta kept rolling....

I was feeling the need to reconnect with my boys who weren't able to come down with us. Shayne having to work out of town, and Ben attending a youth retreat he'd already been signed up long before our trip plans -

So again. late nights talking and hearing all about the retreat.
And then, trying to go to bed at the same time as my husband...
which has been a sore spot with us for years -
him a morning person and me, not.
Yet, I really do see the benefit of that time together before bed.
to just pray and read scripture, talk about the kids, etc.
so... I'm working on it.

Then there was school to catch up on with Emma.
Not to mention laundry - which is never really caught up, is it?
and just getting the house back to normal order.

I thought maybe I'd have some time when Tuesday afternoon rolled around for a bit of blogging... but kates came home from school in near tears. and alone time turned into listening time and hopefully, offering a little comfort.

Wednesday I was out to coffee with friends, which I almost skipped. but so glad I didn't. 

...whenever I get back from being home there's always that pull towards plummeting into self pity for a few days. a, "why do I have to live 800 miles away from my family when everyone else in the world seems to live right next door to theirs?"

But I've found that if I get reconnected soon with my girlfriends here, that plummeting is quickly deterred~ {thanks, girls!}

Because, wherever we are - - it's all about the people!
not location or job or a house. but the people of our lives.

And right there. this. this is what I've been thinking about lately.
the people in my life. right around me...

Not that that doesn't include those people we know in the internet world.. 
we've been in this blogging community for a long time together, some of us, and I love my online friends. absolutely do.
actually, I don't like saying "online friends," because friends are friends to me.

But...
there's something about investing in those near you.
Or, atleast investing in them more than those you've never met or seen in 20 years!

Even if it doesn't seem like a ton of time, I can't help wondering how much it would all add up to... and what if I took that and put it into a relationship that's "local?" Within my own neighborhood or church. What if we all did that.. can you imagine the results!

If I were to be honest, I know there have been many times I've sat on here and showed more interest and care for people I've never met, when those I see on a weekly basis, maybe even daily basis, have gone with needs unmet - - simply because I wasn't willing to take the time.

And I think man! if I don't make that meal for that lady at church, or invite that family over, or return my EIGHT friends phone calls who called over a month ago {cringing} because I say I don't have the time...? And yet there's time to blog or check facebook, to browse craigslist or watch the latest episode of The Amazing Race? Something's not right!



Or, for myself.. bringing it in a bit more personal.. what if I cut a conversation short with one of my kids because I can't wait to jump on here and find out what's happening in the online world, or write some huge post about being a good parent -;) wow! {yes. true story}.

I don't think my kids will care a flip about WHAT I wrote for them someday if they didn't feel I was genuinely, truly WITH them.

Anybody get that with me? That whole being with our kids but not really being WITH our kids?
 
...having our minds a million miles away instead of in the present.

And there can be a million things to fill our minds, can't there? But I know personally, there are many times where it's something as silly as my next blog post, or whether so and so put up pics from their trip, or who might have commented on my latest status.

and then I think, seriously? seriously I'm letting things that insignificant steal time and focus from my own kids! 

And then I find myself wanting to go all Braveheart and join mom's crusade!

Like back in my old ATI days where it was kinda the popular thing for awhile to smash your T.V. in with a hammer, or burn up all your Christian contemporary cd's... like, "okay, kids! haul those computers out on the porch and go find some big, honking rocks!!"

Ha! no. no... I don't really think the issue is about whether the internet is good or bad-
and I know even mom would agree.
But for me, it's simply about being more in tune to His voice.
Of learning to ASK for His guidance on how I should be using my time.
{i mean, do i even think to ask Him?}

Which I know, duh, sounds so elementary!

And I wish I could say I was one of these Christians that just naturally filters everything through the Lord first...
but really. I'm not. hopefully, I'm learning more how to be. I want to be. but it's a long classroom...
this classroom of surrender.
And it seems just when I think I kinda have a grasp on what surrender really looks like - -  well, my study notes get changed up again.

Frankly, surrender isn't a subject I get overly excited about.
but I DO desire to spend this one life well, and to use the most of the time I've been given...  

I know in order for that to happen it means some things need to be surrendered.

So often my time is consumed on my own selfishness.
and I want to try to just better wrap my brain around an eternal perspective.

investing for eternity... I mean, what does that really mean? look like?
look life for my life on a daily basis?



A few months ago I was telling Shayne how I've been thinking about our age alot...
that we're practically middle aged, since we're "nearly 40"!!

To which he laughed!

But hey, if we live to be 80, and that's a pretty full, long life, then we're halfway there!
I tell you, it's the middle already baby!

And I don't want to sit around with this, wait till later mentality.
Or when I'm less busy. Or when the kids are older. Or when I feel more spiritual.
But.Right.Now.

now is the time to take inventory and re-evaluate how my days are spent. 
now is the time for me to get involved in the lives of those around me.

To ask if there are those real live, walking, breathing people right within my own circle here that I'm failing to truly be a friend to - and if I say I'm too busy? Well, what about how "busy" I am keeping up with my 700 and something "friends" on facebook. Or if I feel I don't have a spare second to give to those in the real world a few steps from my own front door, what about the time I give everyday to the world wide web!!

And I just wonder if I purposed to LOOK AROUND more... to get my head out of my own problems and busyness and selfishness and simply took the time to ask the Lord - where are those You want me to minister to? To love on. meet a need. make a meal. pick up the phone. watch their kids. have over. go out. reach out. put myself out. and cry out for the grace to {daily} obey what you show, when I ask.



I think that's what life is all about.. or supposed to be about - simply, people!

and time invested there is time invested for eternity!

On Saturday I asked Shayne if he would just please, sit on the couch and let me show him all the options I was thinking for those big bare walls in my living room...

I was determined to finally get them covered!

blankets can improvise for slipcovers in the meantime

so. My patient husband sat on the couch and tapped into his inner metrosexual as we bounced ideas around and came up with what we got.

I like that he kept reminding me to not make it too busy.
and - if I hung the other 2shelves where I was wanting to..
everyone who walked through the room would knock their head into them~

at one point we were calculating how many friends we had that were 6 foot or thereabouts,
and considering the possibility of new ones we might make!
So..  all my friends, and friends yet to be-
you should feel nice knowing you were considered in this process~

Not, nail hole here, and.. "uh.. opps! wait. let me move that nail up a bit. now.. hmm.. the other side needs moved over."

Sure, they show more dirt then my brown did. but, can you spell, B-L-E-A-C-H!!
a miracle worker that stuff.

And if you're looking for inexpensive, but comfy sofa's Ikea's Ektorp series is great!
You buy the base, and then whatever slipcover color you want.
I think it would be cool someday to have a few other options of slipcovers -
to change them up with the seasons!
You could basically get what would seem like a whole new couch for a mere 50 bucks or something like that.
For me, for now though, it's just all white baby, all year long.

...though right now they are looking a little beige-y.

I found a set of three tables on craigslist for 75, that the lady took 50 for!!
I sanded them down back in the summer and painted them white~
I was going to paint the tops white as well, but liked the look of the natural wood.

We finally decided to move them to the middle of the room, facing each other, with space on either side.
At first I was concerned with how we would fit a large group in the room -
where would everyone sit?
I had wanted to eventually get a few chairs to go on either end when the sofa's were against the walls,
and this set up left no room for that.

But again. I had to go back to working with what I had-
and just making it the best I could for now.

Sometimes I think we leave a room because we want to wait until we can afford all the things we'd like to do in it..
instead of just trying to do something nice with what we already have.
Especially if you're renting...
that's the name of the game!
trying to work with that ugly greenish indoor/outdoor carpet in your dining room,
and the bleh! 1970's cabinets in your kitchen.

It's a challenge, and I won't lie and say that alot of days I'd love nothing more than to walk into a brand spanking new home that I was able to pick out every faucet and feature and paint color all.by.myself.

I wish there were a pill to take for discontentment.
.. instead, it's a life long process of learning to peel my gaze from the stuff of this world,
onto what is truly going to last and matter when it comes to eternity.

but. I do hope my mansion in heaven has a dishwasher!

One of my most favorite blog posts ever was on renting.. found here.
She expressed exactly how my heart has felt so many times with all that through the years.